I've always had a sense of agoraphobia and mysophobia, more so in recent years. Interestingly enough, I used to wash my hands a whole lot more than I do now. I'd still hug people, shake hands, and touch the least likely spot on public doors or railings. Now I'm not as compulsive. I don't know where this fear of the world came from and it does affect my life. I go to work. Come home. Spend time at a bar with friends. Grocery shopping is a mission and other shopping is online. Car, bikes, engines, horns freak me out. Construction, building, cranes, creeks, crashes literally make me angry. I travel to work in the least traffic of times if I can, especially with public transit.
I used to love going on long walks but now the walk is more filling my head with negative thoughts than clearing it with peaceful ones. Now with the virus especially, upon walking past a passerby it's the paranoid glare of I'm must be a thief or homeless. Then there's the occasional hello or head nod, but I'm like look I am antisocial and want to listen to music or check out the trees, squirrels or birds, not you. Today, there was the car that drove by and gave me a peace sign. That was nice. And Sunday versus Monday walking, there's a big difference.
My point is not a lot of my life has changed except the work part. Which could be argued as a time for RnR and a vacation without pay, and going nowhere.
I like my alone time. I like my independence from social necessity.
I could turn into just another lonely old person who will die alone, but I'm not lonely.
I'm happy to be at home.