Realization that nothing is permanent or forever. Everything, friends and family will die. Buildings, nature and animals will outlive humanity unless there is that "Big Bang." That concepts boggles my mind beyond comprehension. The idea of evolution from dinosaurs to today I don't understand. This world is overpopulated. This is a prime example of balancing out according to some grand design which I don't know about that either. We are destroying the earth. All the objects in my house, usually with sentimental value, make it hard to leave or toss out, is simply pointless. Crap that makes me question why I need it. I've been stuck in a rut for at least a few years likely longer. I know I'll have all my work jobs when this is done, but that all seems so pointless too as if I could just walk away from it all. Makes me think of my friend who has lived in a different home every year for the 15 plus years I've known him. He can live out of his van, live in a small room in some house for 6 months when he's working, travels the great unknown when he's not, and keeps a storage unit with all his belongings. If I had to pack up everything in 15 minutes, what would I take? I have a country heart. Small town/island sentimentality. Sense of purpose seems gone. Makes everything I do and have done seem so trivial and without significance in the big picture. The mark we leave, if some of us are lucky may be remembered but while we're here it is unnoticed. This time in history will be remembered, but no one will remember me.