strange mind these days. It's not despair. I won't compare depression because, ah I won't go there, but certainly hopelessness. on the other spectrum, there's moments of happiness, but it's not excitement or elation. it is what i can only say as like a blank stare. I find myself up at 1 am, having slept maybe an hour or two with work in 5 hours, after also not sleeping last night. this distracted mind goes to the computer. I detest social media, or internet surfing, or news. but i found myself watching some Youtube. I saw a highlight of MLB. what? There are virtual fans in the home run stands? That is not only creepy but mind altering. Like seriously, am I on drugs?
Then i saw late night with either Jimmy which started up last night apparently. They have staffers as fans, but with masks on, but the hosts need not it, I guess for the message "we are normal", but still taking the virus very seriously, but how seriously can you take it without mask? I saw them do a social distanced hug because what? a real hug is the wrong message? But you aren't wearing masks anyway? And now 6ft is in question all together? I've wondered watching live music when some of the band is wearing a mask, and one is not? I'm confused, puzzled at what's happening now. it's a bombardment of contradictions.
I know for sure, all these entertainers are nothing without a live audience. kind of again, contradicting that art is personal and if you can't do it for yourself, you can't do it for anybody else, but I contradict myself with the statement art must be shared.
I feel bad for athletes, how can they get pumped up in a silent stadium?