Best way to clear the air is to have it all out in the open.
You would be shocked at how many people walk out of the lives of their friends when something serious happens. It is not solely a male phenomena (though 85% of men leave a spouse who is diagnosed with a serious chronic illness, like Multiple Sclerosis).
When I got sick and diagnosed with "probable ALS" (ultimately Primary Lateral Sclerosis) people, especially women, who had been my friends for DECADES just disappeared. Others orchestrated drama that forced me to end the relationships (fucking passive aggression is a PLAGUE). There is one person that did this that hurt me so badly, I will never, EVER forgive her. She and I were so close, I would have died for her and thought she would have done the same. Nope. I finally came to terms with the fact that this person is severely emotionally disturbed when she refused to go home and see her mother when her mother got sick and then died. She did not go home until after her mother's death.
My mother has friends from high school (she graduated in 1967). The husband died of cancer in 1997. His own parents never came to see him when he was sick or dying and did not even attend the funeral. That hurt him more than anything, more than his illness, more than him dying. And his family, especially his wife, has found a way to forgive them. She is a far better woman than I am. I cannot even imagine doing that to a child you brought into this world.
People fucking suck. Your anger will not change that. I feel for your husband and I feel for you. There is nothing that can make this situation acceptable. It simply is. People are really horrible and most of them care only about themselves. Sad and true.
Literally all but one of my late husband’s friends abandoned him when he got sick. I’m pretty sure he was too busy trying not to die to care about it, but I could be wrong. Anyway, people deal with things in different ways, and I assume that his friends leaned full force into the avoidance camp. All I can say now is fuck them, and I hope that none of them have to go out like he did. Also, fuck cancer.
Comments are closed.
Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.