Warning from top scientists: the longer one stares at a cell phone,
the greater the danger of becoming a zombie.

They're fairly normal Portlanders if they can't tolerate rain, then, aren't they?

Portland is full of fake Pacific Northwesterners who whine about the moderate rain and mild winters -- so warm that the three days of slush they call snow can't stay frozen during the day -- and bleat "Enjoy the sun!" after we've had five straight months of hot, droughty, miserable, hazardous, blasting dry heat and sun and no rain.

A Southern Californian says:

1) NOBODY needs that much sun.

2) If you're an emotional mess, stop blaming clouds for your pychosis and work on yourself.

3) The winters here are mild, warm, only moderately rainy, and that you whine more than anyone inall four western states from Orange County, California to Anchorage, Alaska.