You are a manchild trying to be cool and free at the expense of everyone in your life. I want to tell you how much I hate you, and how thin your fake “cool guy” facade is, but I keep it bottled up because you are married to my friend and you take everything bad in your life out on her like the abusive piece of shit you are. You are a terrible partner, a terrible parent, an entitled faux feminist stereotype, and your novelty band sucks. You act like your job is so important and stressful, like you’re disarming nukes and saving the world every day, when your job is laughably easy. This is your excuse for demanding your wife wait on you hand and foot, and your child not inconvenience you with her existence. You need time to buy records and go to pretentious concerts instead of raising the human you brought into the world. I’d love to cover your car with dog shit but you’d just manipulate your wife into cleaning it up. The people who are paying attention are not fooled by your act— we see you for exactly what you are.