Dog people: we don't all love your smelly dirty furry best friends. Oh YOUR dog isn't like that? Yes it is. You're just so covered in its fur and slobber that you stopped noticing. Us non-dog-people dread visiting your house where we're assaulted at the front door, our pants are covered with nasty snuffles within seconds, and there's nowhere clean to sit. Then you just assume that when we invite you over for the holidays there's a plus one policy for your muddy bitch?! Can you seriously not go anywhere without that animal? What kind of mental codependency problem do you have? Look at your life: you can only go to dog friendly restaurants and shops, the day's schedule is wrapped around pee breaks and carrying bags of shit around. My baby is easier to accommodate than your spoiled pooch. Leave it at home and don't be surprised the next time we all enthusiastically offer to host the holidays at our clean houses instead of yours. Xoxo, your cat person relative