There is a weekly paper in Portland (spoiler: it's not the Mercury) that is a waste of trees, eyesight, time and attention. This week some writer is sobbing over losing "Portland's Biggest Fans." Boo-hoo. These turn out to be people who object to the higher taxes! How sad, a bunch of trust fund babies and "CEOs" are taking their resplendent selves to Dallas. Goodie. Nobody should be crying over this. What about the people who "left" Portland via heat deaths and deaths from homelessness? I guess this weekly doesn't see that as a news story. Why that is a surprise to me I don't know, because instead of ever being remotely rebellious, watchdoggy (like that word?) or progressive, this weekly has always been bullshit! If it's cover wasn't a burger it was a beer. It is always pushing America's tainted meat supply and alcohol problem on its readers, and always in a douchy way that seemed to take for granted that we can all afford five dollar doughnuts and twenty dollar burgers. And it pushes astrology—hey, why not Scientology? Why you ask do I even sully my hands with this rag—easy, I use it to wrap fish scraps in.