Hi! It's me! You're friendly, slow, Portland driver. I'm the one driving 20 miles per hour in a 25. I'm the one that's three car lengths behind the car in front of me during a traffic jam. I'm the one that slows down on the bridge to look at the river. I'm the one that stops for a pedestrian while traffic zips around me. I know, you're frustrated. You're in a hurry to get home. But honestly, what's your rush? You need to get home and put on Netflix three minutes earlier? You need an extra two hundred seconds to surf the internet? You need to get dinner started by 6:15, and your night is ruined if you don't start until 6:18? So here's a suggestion: just relax. It's fine. We're all gonna get there. You're really not going to save any time by hurrying your ass off to get twenty feet further ahead in a traffic jam. You're just stressing yourself out. Put on a podcast or some cool tunes, slow down, and just chill. Thank me later. Sincerely, your friendly slow Portland driver