One of America’s favorite Christmas songs is under political attack. Will Americans put up with this? In this beloved song, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was the target of horrific physical and emotional abuse at the hands, or hooves to be more precise, of his fellow reindeer as he possessed a physical trait they did not, namely his luminescent nose. Things were pretty bad for Rudolph for a very long time, until one horrendous Christmas Eve when flying was near impossible due to poor visibility. That’s when Rudolph’s nose came to the rescue. As you know, Christmas mass consumerism was saved and the reindeer and shopping malls of America rejoiced. Thereafter, Rudolph was accepted by the herd, albeit at a healthy distance. Last night President Trump signed an executive order banning the singing of this song as it is an example of critical race theory extended to other mammalian species. As the president wisely noted in this televised announcement to the nation, “How do you think baby reindeer … You know they can’t fly, the babies, until … but anyway, the other reindeer were just protecting … And so, I will not allow baby reindeer to feel guilty about something or other. AMERICA FIRST!!!!” And with that, he held up the order, grinned broadly, and threw his signing pen to the adoring crowd of humans and other mammals gathered in the Oval Office. Unfortunately, the pen put out the eye of a young gazelle who, as it turns out, was uninsured. This makes about as much sense as the many other executive orders being signed by Donald Trump.