I guess it’d be easier if I didn’t care that my kids will barely talk to me. If I slept all day and played videos games while my wife did all the work. I could have taken that route. She definitely makes enough. I didn’t have to get this wake up before one and destroy your body job. I definitely didn’t have to start school at the same time. Looking forward for to a measly week off, where I spend most the week recovering from work and the rest of it being ignored. Feel like I went to Disney with myself. Barely more than a chaperone. Less physically drained because I got to sleep in but more emotionally drained. I think I might have a chance of a relationship with them when they’re older, but it just feels like so much wasted time. I don’t feel like I am the kind of person I’d like to be. Between my own communication flaws, the shit have been through that taught me to be a little more cautious and cynical, too much fucking work, and all their personal obstacles, it just feels like a lose-lose situation on all parts. That’s the trick though. Keep pushing well beyond any belief that things will work out. That’s what got me here. And I shouldn’t be here. Never thought I’d get this far.