MORE GOATS PLEASE
RE: “A Sporty Kind of Love” [Feature, March 21], Arthur Bradford’s profile of Decemberists frontman Colin Meloy and artist Carson Ellis’ fandom for the Portland Trail Blazers. “Ellis and Meloy live on a farm outside of town with their kids, several llamas, and a few goats,” wrote Bradford. “They still like to watch Blazers games together. Tonight, Meloy is wearing a jacket with a custom, Ellis-designed ‘Rip City’ logo stitched on the back. He’s also sporting a cool woolen ‘Rip City’ cap, which Ellis knit.”
So the king and queen of Portland twee are also really into Portland’s sportsball team? Fascinating. Yes, I am a fan of the Decemberists; I already have a ticket to see them at Edgefield in June. However, I would much rather see pictures of the Meloy family farm than pictures of large men playing sportsball. I don’t understand why people watch sports when they could be listening to music. Or petting one of Colin Meloy’s goats!
RE: “The Waiting Game” [Food, March 21], Chad Walsh’s column about Portland’s restaurant industry. In last week’s column, Walsh answered the question, “Is it rude to show up at a restaurant with a big group a half-hour before closing?” “Here’s a general rule when dining out with a large group of people minutes before a restaurant closes,” Walsh wrote. “If that party can’t order a second drink with their dinner because the bartender’s gonna announce ‘last call’ when they’re midway through their first, it might be a good idea to try another option.”
Right on, Chad! Having worked the front of the house in restaurants for nearly 35 years, I find the observations and advice in your columns to always be spot on. I hope, for the sake of thousands of restaurant workers, that readers heed your wise words. Let’s say we have dinner and drinks sometime. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of stories to share.
SAME AS IT EVER WAS
RE: “Faced with an Affordable Housing ‘Crisis,’ City Increases Developer Incentives” [Blogtown, March 22]. “With hopes of improving Portland’s brand-new affordable housing policy, Portland City Council has begrudgingly agreed to woo developers with... its original affordable housing policy,” reported News Editor Alex Zielinski. “The decision comes at the end of the city’s year-long slog to create and retain affordable housing after passing its ‘Inclusionary Housing’ policy. Instead of spurring a wave of affordable new housing across the city, the policy has nearly ground residential construction to a halt.”
Instead of dicking around with failed policies that will always fail, just throw the money at housing vouchers for low-income folks so they can pay their rent right now instead of waiting to qualify for a handful of affordable units that have a mile-long waiting list. It’s a much more straightforward and immediate way of accomplishing the same damn thing. And then quit making it so fucking hard to develop new units.
Upzone the whole city! The only way to solve an under-supply problem is by building more housing. The fact that we have building height limits downtown is absurd, and the fact that city council voted against a 17-story building downtown to preserve rich peoples’ views is worse.
THIS JUST IN
RE: The Very Best of HUMP!, this summer’s screening of our very favorite films from previous years of the Mercury’s beloved HUMP! festival.
Ever heard Xvideos? Don’t nobody gotta pay for porn no more.
oliver.norte, via Instagram
WAIT. WHAT?? So you’re saying... there’s FREE PORNOGRAPHY on the INTERNET?? This changes EVERYTHING. For bringing us this shocking, game-changing news, oliver.norte, we’re tempted to give you the Mercury’s letter of the week, along with two passes to the Laurelhurst Theater! But since you’ve got all the movies you need on Xvideos, we’ll keep those tickets for ourselves.