A Holy Love Triangle
Dear Reverend Hanson: My name is Jason, and I organize Bible Lunchtime at Sisters of Advanced Chemistry High in Vancouver. Last semester I met a very neat girl named Tiffany. Because she seemed like such a special girl, with so much love to give, it freaked me out to learn that her life was 99 percent Christ-free. So I ministered to her of Jesus' love, His great sacrifice, the coming apocalypse, and other great things about going Christian all the way.
Boy, did she come around! For the last several months we've spent Bible Lunchtimes together almost every day! I've taken her to church and watched inspirational videos with her at home--under my Dad's supervision. She even wears the JESUS IS RAD! bomber jacket I gave her for His Birthday. Her love of Christ has exploded in size, almost overnight! As has our relationship or so I thought!
But now I'm scared that Tiffany's love of Christ has blinded her. You see, our school is putting on GODSPELL, a hip, alternative Christian musical drama. Tiffany is costume designer, and lately, Tiff's been spending an awful lot of time with DEAN CHARTELL, a skinny, long-haired weirdo who's playing Jesus of Nazareth. (I don't know why our dramatics teacher picked Dean in that role; he never comes to Bible Lunchtime. And I think the robe Tiffany has designed for Dean is way too racy for the Prince of Peace.)
At first I was ashamed of myself for my unfounded feelings of jealousy. But today, I founded them! I saw my Tiffany in the green room, WASHING DEAN CHARTELL'S FEET! Right there in the drama building, with a sponge! I could have died.
Reverend, I have a strong, wholesome Christian love for Tiffany. I hate to see her fall for that LOSER Dean Chartell's second-rate Jesus impersonation. How can I win her back?
Jason in Vancouver
Dear Jason: Christian Love is a wonderful, exciting thing. When two young lovers, such as yourself and Tiffany, invite Jesus to be the third member of your union, and Jesus accepts that invitation, the wonderful feelings to be had are unsurpassed.
Perhaps Tiffany, like many new Christians, confuses the chaste romantic friendship she feels for you with the feelings of joyous rapture and submission she feels for Jesus. Indeed, I wonder if you may have taken advantage of Tiffany's confusion in your eagerness to love her, love Him, feel His and her love, and have her feel yours and His love and love Him and you.
But true love conquers all, and there is no truer love than the Love of God. Don't let this Chartell character fill your with envy, lust, and anger. Don't "dump" Jesus just because Tiffany "dumped" you. Trust Him to lead her back to you. Tell Tiffany you love her--and remind her that Jesus is no human boyfriend, but a God-friend.
