Hey guys! Remember the time we hung out with Rihanna? Probs not considering our archives are holy hell to drudge through, which is why we're poking around for treasures in our palatial archives. Twenty floors below our office there's a huge and mysterious room full of New Columns!, stupid features about Mercury employees trying out patent-pending sex toys, and tales of a charming streetcar who has a thirst for blood. Here let me grab my smoking jacket and ascot whilst I recline in my leather chair... because it's time for our new weekly blog series Mercury Bullshit of Yore.

From former Arts Editor Chas Bowie's brief but memorable hangout with Rihanna at Benson High School in 2006:

The 18-year-old singer answered the students' questions with unnerving poise and maturity. One boy in the audience stood up suavely, cocked his hat to the side with a slow deliberation, ran his fingers like a pistol all the way to his thigh, then asked the singer if she'd accompany him to prom. The boy's friends were so thrilled with his proposition that they leapt out of their seats and ran small circles in the aisles. When a female student asked about becoming a famous singer, Rihanna invited her to sing onstage.

There are lots more odds and ends in the archives.