I just got back the results and personalized recommendations of my Recess fitness program's biometrics testing. The good news is that I'm already at a pretty healthy weight and body fat percentage ("I could have told you that," remarked the boyfriend), but I'm not satisfied to coast: I want to shoot for the lowest end of the spectrum of what's considered ideal for my body type. Basically that means I'm going to try to lose 10 pounds. I'm not saying I'm going to, but I'm going to try to.

Now here's the bad and inconvenient news: I don't know how to diet. I have plenty of experience restricting my diet, mind you, but in general ways, like being a vegan or fasting. But "moderation" and "portion control" are somewhere between foreign and kryptonite. I'm often on the run and eating out, I live with a ridiculously talented cook who likes to throw amazing dinner parties—one of my favorite parts of our life together—and I don't know how you can both eat unprocessed foods from the farmers' market like we're all supposed to (which usually don't come with nutritional facts) and accurately count calories at the same time. An apple is not an apple is not an apple, etc. Oh yeah, and I also really love my wine. So, I'm going to do my best to follow the obtuse dietary recommendations, which seem so disconnected from normal meals. Sample breakfast: 1 cup of soy milk, 1 tbsp of nuts, 1/2 banana, 1 slice of whole wheat bread, and 1/3 cup of cooked beans. Sounds like a runny smoothie with beans on toast to me.

One good thing is the virtually limitless allowance for vegetables, although the concept of only 1 tbsp of dressing for a salad of any magnitude is pretty rough. It would be so much easier for me to, like, not eat anything of a certain color or something. This is going to involve math.