Thursday, July 13

8:00 FOX SUPERCOP--Movie

(1992) Jackie Chan teams up with hotsy-totsy Michelle Yeoh in this chop-socky stunt-filled classic!

8:00 CBS BIG BROTHER

As reality shows go, this is the most lurid piece of shit I have ever witnessed... and I LOVE IT!!


Friday, July 14

8:00 FX GROSSE POINTE BLANK--Movie

(1997) John Cusack stars as your typical killer-for-hire attending his 10-year class reunion.

9:30 ABC MAKING THE BAND

The O-Town boys are driven to tears when their dance coach yells at them. The MONSTER!!


Saturday, July 15

9:00 AMC THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE--Movie

(1972) A luxury liner goes topsy-turvy, and it's up to the sacrilegious Gene Hackman, the portly Shelley Winters, and the damn-near sexy Ernest Borgnine to save the day!

10:00 FOOD IRON CHEF

Tonight, Iron Chef faces his most brutal challenge yet... "Battle Iceberg Lettuce!" Oh, no! Surely fate is too cruel!


Sunday, July 16

9:30 MTV REAL WORLD--NEW ORLEANS

You've been waiting for it, and here it is! The first knock-down-drag-out catfight of the season! It's Melissa vs. David in "Battle 'Who Used My Shampoo?'"

9:30 SCI SCIOGRAPHY

Kind of like Biography--except for geeks! This week: Behind the scenes of Battlestar Galactica!


Monday, July 17

8:00 FOX OPPOSITE SEX

Pilot episode. Hilarity ensues when three boys enroll in a (gulp!) all-girl's school?!?


Tuesday, July 18

9:30 TBS POLTERGEIST--Movie

(1982) A little girl gets sucked into a television, and for some unearthly reason bitches and moans about wanting to come back!

10:30 FX ACTION

The diminutive Scott Wolf (Party of Five) wants a part in Peter Dragon's movie, except Peter would prefer using a mentally ill crackhead.


Wed., July 19

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR

Hey! Have you played the Survivor drinking game? Whenever a tribe member does something devious, you drink! (Better take tomorrow off from work.)