God Smack

As a former Bible Belt resident, I can attest that poor Southerners are not only plagued by tornadoes, but also by an unfounded fear of the apocalypse. My worst memories involve being dragged into a concrete bunker as God whipped twisters through our trailer park. Thankfully, that terror only lasted a few hours. But imagine those poor saps who actually face an impending apocalypse, having to stay in bomb shelters for years, waiting for the earth to once again sustain human life. Man, that would suck.

Le Dernier Combat (1983)--Relying on stunning black and white cinematography, with no dialogue and few action sequences, Luc Besson's first film is a desperate struggle for life. An unnamed man flees an office building by means of a flying contraption, only to crash into a pissed-off Jean Reno (of The Professional). After Reno beats his ass, the man is befriended by a doctor and nursed back to health. The two hole up in a fortress trying to keep Reno out and get their civility back. The most cinematic apocalypse movie available.

The Omega Man (1971)--A virus spreads through the world killing everyone but the leader of the NRA. Chuck Heston plays a gun-toting scientist lucky enough to inject himself with a life-saving serum just before mankind ends. Heston spends his day hunting down members of "the Family," a bunch of plagued-out holy rolling mutants. Conversely, the Family spends its nights whining about the destruction of mankind and hunting Heston down. But don't worry, Heston finds a hot-bodied woman, to help him... well... do a couple things.

Night of the Comet (1984)--The apocalypse would be great if everything wasn't completely destroyed. And that's exactly what happens when a comet comes too close to earth and kills everyone except a few teenagers. Time to party, right? Not quite. Everyone knows you can't have a post-apocalyptic movie without mutants. And don't forget those government agents busting up the fun by trying to get your blood in order to keep themselves from being mutated. DAVID MORGAN