Thurs, November 21

8:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVINGThe annual Peanuts Thanksgiving pageant is ruined when Pigpen gives the Indians syphilis.

9:00 UPN STUPID BEHAVIOR CAUGHT ON TAPEAnother holier-than-thou home video show (however, that guy ripping his underpants on a fence is really funny)!

Fri, November 22

8:00 <>OXY CHASING AMY--Movie(1997) Ben Affleck gets involved with a lesbian, which I think is something J. LO just isn't going to stand for.

9:00 <>DSC KIDS BEHIND BARSA documentary about smart-ass punks in the slammer, and their first experiences in the laundry room.

Sat, November 23

7:00 <> FAM ANNIE--Movie(1999) Little Orphan Annie sings, dances, and overthrows Daddy Warbucks in a corporate coup.

8:00 FX GROSSE POINTE BLANK--Movie(1997) Hitman John Cusack attends his 10-year high school reunion, and after stabbing someone in the neck with a pen, realizes that things haven't changed that much.

Sun, November 24

7:00 <>WB THE WIZARD OF OZ--Movie(1939) A Kansas farm girl is rapped on the head during a tornado, gets addicted to drugs and pills, and gives birth to Liza Minnelli.

9:00 CBS MARTIN AND LEWIS--Movie(2002) Sean Hayes (Jack from Will & Grace) plays Jerry Lewis--waitasecond... Jerry Lewis was GAY?!?

Mon, November 25

8:00 <>FX THE ICE STORM--Movie(1997) Ang Lee's study of swinging '70s suburbia, which includes downed electrical lines, teenage sex, and Sigourney Weaver in a really hot pantsuit.

Tues, November 26

9:00 <>WB SMALLVILLEClark learns about a super power he never knew he had after spending the night with a hot chick in a cave. Woo-Woo!

10:30 MTV THE OSBOURNESSeason Premiere! This season: Sharon gets cancer, Kelly gets famous, Jack gets laid, and Ozzy gets... well, Ozzy is just Ozzy.

Wed, November 27

8:00 <>FOX BERNIE MACWhen Jordan accidentally causes the family turkey to be undercooked, Bernie responds by knocking the white meat out of his head.

9:00 ABC PAUL McCARTNEY: BACK IN THE U.S.A.God! Apparently they'll let anybody in this country! It's no freakin' wonder the terrorists have got us by the shorthairs!