Thursday, May 22

8:30 WB O'KEEFES Debut! Judge Reinhold (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) stars as the eccentric pop of an eccentric family in this eccentric new comedy!

9:00 ABC SATAN'S SCHOOL FOR GIRLS--Movie (2000) Shannen Doherty stars in this remake of the '70s TV movie Satan's Technical Institute.

Friday, May 23

8:00 TOON THE POWERPUFF GIRLS MOVIE--Movie (2002) In their feature-film debut, three super-powered kindergartners kick the big red ass of Mojo Jojo!

8:00 A&E TOM JONES LIVE Get ready to toss your panties at the TV! It's Las Vegas legend Tom Jones in a live concert from Wales!

Saturday, May 24

9:00 UPN POWDER--Movie (1995) Sure, the kid may have super mental abilities, but anybody named "Powder" is asking for trouble!

9:00 TNN MOST EXTREME ELIMINATION CHALLENGE This hilariously overdubbed Japanese game show is quickly becoming one of my faves! Don't miss it!

Sunday, May 25

8:00 VH1 DIVAS DUETS Divas Mary J. Blige, Chaka Khan, and more join each other on stage for power ballad blowouts. (Please, please, please, scratch each other's eyes out!)

9:30 COM CRANK YANKERS More telephone practical pranks, with this week's special guest voice, Snoop Dogg!

Monday, May 26

10:00 COM THE DAILY SHOW Jon and the gang take a tearful, laugh-filled look back at Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Tuesday, May 27

10:00 FX LUCKY Lucky is invited to be a movie "technical adviser" by a fancy-pants Hollywood type.

10:00 MTV THE REAL WORLD: PARIS The newest Real World cast travels to gay Paris, and is shocked to find a beautiful apartment with no shower in sight.

Wednesday, May 28

8:00 NBC FAME Debut! A new reality game show based on the hilariously cheesy movie, featuring multitalented performers. Ooh! Ooh! I want to sing "Dogs in the Yard"!

10:00 ABC EXTREME MAKEOVERS Now that your favorite shows are in reruns, don't miss this butt-cringing good plastic surgery show!

Anybody know where I can get a donkey?