Heathers
dir. Lehmann
Pix Patisserie

Hedwig and the Angry Inch
dir. Mitchell
Mallory Hotel

Man... Alien vs. Predator and She Hate Me, huh? Those aren't looking too good, are they? We're stuck in cinema's summer doldrums, folks. Luckily, some of Portland's cinephiles have found an escape: old movies!

House of Wax in 3-D (1953)

Wax museums are messed up to begin with, but there's a way to make 'em even more messed up... just ask that weirdo Professor Jarrod (Vincent Price). Seems Jarrod has confused "painstakingly sculpting people out of wax" with "covering rotting corpses with wax." This film--the first studio film shot in 3-D--poses two important questions. First, to what lengths should we go to create art? And second... you need to be a professor to make wax sculptures? (Erik Henriksen)

Heathers (1989)

To this day, I don't trust anyone--anyone--named Heather. Why? It's Heathers, a viciously dark comedy that follows Veronica (Winona Ryder) as she tries to join her school's coolest clique, which features Heather (Shannen Doherty), Heather (Lisanne Falk), and Heather (Kim Walker). Veronica's only ally in the cutthroat world of social acceptance is the possibly murderous J.D. (Christian Slater), and before she knows it, Veronica's killin' off the Heathers and telling people it's suicide. (Wait. So maybe I shouldn't trust people named Veronica.... Huh. Just to be safe, I'm not trusting either of them.) (Erik Henriksen)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

Here's the woeful tale of Hansel (John Cameron Mitchell) as he suffers through a botched sex change operation, prostitution, Rent auditions, unrequited love, a name change to "Hedwig," and rock stardom. With its charming pop-art magical realism, cinematic flashbacks, and its intimate documentary-style footage, the movie version of Hedwig emphasizes the rich plot far better than the stage version. Although, admittedly, the ending--a Christ-like nude walk with a close-up on Mitchell's ass--is still wildly obscure. (I could never figure out Tommy or Rocky Horror either.) An outdoor showing atop the Mallory Hotel! (Josh Feit)