THURSDAY, JANUARY 13 8:00 FOX THE O.C. After learning that Lindsay is Kristin's sister, Ryan weighs the morality of porking his aunt.

9:00 ESPN TILT Debut! Drama and criminality ensue in this new series about the high stakes world of POKER?! I don't even KNOW her! HAW!!

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14 9:00 FOX JONNY ZERO Debut! Mumble mouth ex-con gets out of the crime business and into the "helping people" business.

9:00 SCI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Fans of Farscape should eat up this geek-alicious update of the classic '70s space soap.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 15 8:00 DSC DOG SHOW Spoiled pups and nut-grabbing judges strut their stuff at the 2005 National Championship.

10:00 A&E MI-5 A nerdy engineer helps set a trap for terrorists in this Limey combo platter of Alias and 24.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 16 8:00 NBC GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS Don't give two shits about the Golden Globes? Me neither. But Desperate Housewives starts in an hour on ABC!

8:30 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT A rival company hires Gob to help them win a company softball game.

MONDAY, JANUARY 17 10:00 ABC SUPERNANNY Debut! A British nanny cures crappy kids with her "Mary Poppins" impression (that is, poppin' them upside the head).

TUESDAY, JANUARY 18 8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL Season Premiere! Simon, Paula, and Randy return to annoy America with more screeching pop star wannabes.

9:00 UPN VERONICA MARS Get caught up on your Veronica Mars with this terrific repeat of the pilot episode!

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 19 9:00 ABC ALIAS While Syd goes undercover as a social worker, Vaughn dresses up as a lascivious priest. Look out, choirboys!

9:00 FOX POINT PLEASANT Debut! Half-devil girl goes hunting for her mortal mommy and horny pop.