THURSDAY, JULY 28

9:00 NBC THE LAW FIRM
Debut! Slimy real-life lawyers battle it out in the courtroom to make even more money. Not greedy at all.

9:00 FOX THE O.C.
Dook! Dook! Dook! Drunky Kirsten gets a good talkin' to from teetotaling Sandy.

FRIDAY, JULY 29

8:00 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
Catch up on this hilarious past season with four back-to-back episodes.

11:00 COM WEEKENDS AT THE D.L.
Debut! Comedian D.L. Hughley gets his own weekend talk show (presumably to make up for the MIA Dave Chappelle).

SATURDAY, JULY 30

9:00 SCIFI BLOODSUCKERS--Movie
(2005) Astronaut commandos open up a can of intergalactic whup ass on a gang of outer space vampires. Yee-HAW!

SUNDAY, JULY 31

10:00 TNT WANTED
Debut! Gary Cole leads a team of hotshit cops who tracks down the crooks no one else can!

10:00 HBO ENTOURAGE
More Mandy Moore trouble for Vince, whose role in James Cameron's Aquaman hangs in the balance.

MONDAY, AUGUST 1

8:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN
Season finale! Chef Ramsay rewards the final contestant with his own restaurant, and tells him he's a fuckin' idiot.

8:00 ABC THE SIXTH SENSE--Movie
(1999) Bruce Willis stars as a psychologist who learns that dead people are just as annoying as everyone else.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 2

8:00 NBC MEET MISTER MOM
Debut! It's papa Potter vs. papa Smith in a competition to see who can be the most bumbling dad EVER!

10:00 COM RENO 911
Gay-themed hilarity ensues when the deputies are put in charge of guarding Liberace's piano.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 3

8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
Well? Do ya? Then c'mon! Why don't you bring it? Right here on the dance floor, pal! Check this out… hot-cha-cha! You just got SERVED!

10:00 FX OVER THERE
The troops are sent to guard a remote checkpoint to keep the Iraqis from escaping to safety. Yay, America!