THURSDAY, MAY 3
8:00 CW SMALLVILLE
Jimmy gets knocked out and travels back to the 1940s. I dunno... sounds kind of unrealistic to me.
8:35 NBC THE OFFICE
Phyllis gets flashed; Dwight and Andy play "To Catch a Predator."
FRIDAY, MAY 4
8:00 FX SPIDER-MAN2—Movie
(2004) Dr. Octopus dreams up eight new ways of kicking Spidey's ass!
SATURDAY, MAY 5
11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
The very best skits and videos from this season. I only have four words. "Dick... in... a... Box."
SUNDAY, MAY 6
8:00 CBS AMAZING RACE
Season Finale! The final three teams race around to wherever, to win whatever. (Sorry, I watch this show less than The View.)
9:00 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE IN THE '90S
The very best skits and videos from the '90s. Unless "Dick in a Box" debuted in the '90s, I don't give a poop.
Midnight TOON MORAL OREL
Don't miss this perverted animated parody of Davey and Goliath and Christian kid shows!
MONDAY, MAY 7
8:00 FOX DRIVE
Sorry, folks... this one has already been cancelled. Put the transmission in park, and step away from the vehicle.
9:00 NBC HEROES
In order to save the world, Hiro and Ando must pass a special test (which I hope includes Star Wars trivia).
TUESDAY, MAY 8
8:00 MYTV HOOTERS DREAM GIRL CHALLENGE
16 Hooters waitresses compete to appear on the cover ofHooters magazine. Ummm... do they get overtime for this?
9:00 CW VERONICA MARS
In order to save the school concert, Veronica must help out a washed-up rocker (played by the dreamy Paul Rudd)!
WEDNESDAY, MAY 9
8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL
The girls express themselves via aboriginal dance. I better take my anti-butt-cringing pills.
10:00 ABC LOST
Ben lets Locke in on some of the island's secrets; meanwhile Juliet lets her secret slip! See ya, suckah!
