THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6

9:00 SCIFI WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO?

Nerds in superhero costumes run a gauntlet of attack dogs. Life is so great sometimes.

10:00 AMC MAD MEN

Peggy's success at copywriting makes her the asshole of the secretarial pool.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 7

9:00 CBS FASHION ROCKS

Hosted by Jeremy Piven and the usual gang of musical idiots: Fergie, J.LO, Fall Out Boy, ad infinitum.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 8

8:30 NBC FALL PREVIEW PARTY

Check out clips from the new NBC shows including the awe-inspiring new Bionic Woman!

9:00 BBCA TORCHWOOD

Debut! A British sci-fi show that's a cross between CSI and Men in Black.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9

9:00 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

This year the producers promise a "completely different viewing experience." Thanks for the information—I'll set my expectations extremely low.

10:00 HBO CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM

Season premiere! Tinseltown curmudgeon Larry David is back for another season of insulting women, blacks, and the handicapped... sorry. Handicapable.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10

9:00 ABC FAT MARCH

Season finale! The participants are relieved when the "Ho Chi Minh Trail for Fatties" comes to an end.

10:00 FX DAMAGES

Ellen and Tom begin to suspect Patty is manipulating them. All together now: "NO DUH."

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12

10:00
MTV REAL WORLD SYDNEY

The reality show that proves college students can be dicks, even in Australia.

10:00 FX RESCUE ME

Season finale! After a season of screwing around and babynapping, Tommy decides his life may be going in the wrong direction.