THURSDAY, MAY 15

8:00 NBC MY NAME IS EARL

Season finale! Billie forces Earl to choose between her and his karma list—which kinda sounds like bad karma.

10:00 ABC LOST

The castaways open up a can of whup-ass on the freighter people. (Better bring a life jacket.)

FRIDAY, MAY 16

9:00 CMT MOBILE HOME DISASTER

Series premiere! Instead of watching trailer parks getting wiped out, these guys are fixing them up! BOOOOOOO!

10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

The Galactica teams up with Cylons? What's next? Dogs sleeping with cats?

SATURDAY, MAY 17

5:00 SCIFI RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK MARATHON!

All three Raiders movies back to back from the best to the worst to the second best!

11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Steve Carell hosts, with Usher as musical guest! EEEEEEEE!

SUNDAY, MAY 18

8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS

Season finale! After Lisa outshines Krusty as his new assistant, she's given her own show!

9:00 ABC DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

Season finale! The residents of Wisteria Lane are faced with deadly threats—like cancellation? I hope?

MONDAY, MAY 19

8:00 NBC AMERICAN GLADIATORS

It's cops from Denver vs. cops from Chicago—and that's just outside in the parking lot.

9:00 FOX HOUSE

Season finale! Dr. House and his best buddy Wilson get in a tiff. Will they kiss and make up in time?

TUESDAY, MAY 20

9:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS

Season finale! Kristi Yamaguchi wins. There, I just saved you two hours.

9:00 CW REAPER

Season finale! A demon revolution targets Sam, which coincidentally WILL be televised.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 21

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

Season finale! Another idol will be chosen, not sell any albums, and quickly fade into obscurity.

10:00 ABC BOSTON LEGAL

Alan and Denny celebrate being accepted into the US Coast Guard Auxiliary. Wait... WHAT?!