THURSDAY, AUGUST 14

10:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST

Season finale! Kathy gets a chance to move up to the C-list—but unfortunately chooses to open her mouth.

10:30 COM REALITY BITES BACK

The comedians compete in a reality parody called, So You Think You Can Dive? Better wear some headgear.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 15

8:00 NBC SUMMER OLYMPICS

It's "beach volleyball" vs. "regular clothed volleyball." Guess who gets the gold?

SATURDAY, AUGUST 16

9:00 VH1 I WANT TO WORK FOR DIDDY

In order to become Puff Daddy's intern, the contestants are... dropped off in the middle of the wilderness?

9:00 BBCA PRIMEVAL

A giant spider is living underneath London which means the team will jump on a chair and scream like a girl.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 17

10:00 COM COMEDY CENTRAL ROAST

Raunchy comedians roast Full House's Bob Saget. (Get ready for some Mary-Kate and Ashley anal rape jokes. I'm not kidding.)

10:00 SPIKE KUNG FU KILLER

A two-part chop-socky mini-series starring Kill Bill's David Carradine and Daryl Hannah!

MONDAY, AUGUST 18

9:00 CNBC SUMMER OLYMPICS

Tonight features the most homoerotic sports: wrestling and table tennis!

10:00 MTV THE HILLS

Season premiere! Tonight's episode answers last season's cliffhanger, "Maybe something will actually happen next year?"

TUESDAY, AUGUST 19

8:00 ABC WIPEOUT

Doesn't matter if you've already seen this Wipeout repeat; the wipeouts still hurt just as bad.

9:00 PBS THE MAKING OF THE CHINESE OLYMPIC BASEBALL TEAM

Two American major leaguers whip the Chinese Olympic team into shape. TRAITORS!

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20

8:00 NBC SUMMER OLYMPICS

Surprise! More women's beach volleyball! Not that I'm complaining, but did they get rid of track and field?

9:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY

RuPaul is the guest judge for this "queen"-themed challenge, and... ohhhhh. I GET IT.