THURSDAY, JUNE 4

10:00 NBC THE LISTENER

Debut! A telepathic paramedic. Ugh. This is going to be a loooong summer.

10:00 USA ROYAL PAINS

Debut! A disgraced NYC doc gets hired to exclusively treat Hamptons' fanciest fancy-pantsers.

FRIDAY, JUNE 5

10:00 E! THE SOUP

If you haven't visited recently, check in with the hilarious Joel McHale as he skewers the dumbest celebs of the week.

SATURDAY, JUNE 6

8:00 GSN THE GAME SHOW AWARDS

A ceremony honoring the best game shows of all time including The Price is Right. Unnecessary!

8:00 USA CASINO ROYALE—Movie

(2006) Sex pot Daniel Craig blasts out of the gate in his first go around as sociopath/spy James Bond.

SUNDAY, JUNE 7

9:00 A&E GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS

Season premiere! Against his daughter's wishes, Gene throws her a birthday party as big as his tongue.

10:00 BBCA HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA?

Debut! Actresses compete for the role of Maria in a London production of The Sound of Music, and I know you don't care, but I do.

MONDAY, JUNE 8

9:00 TLC JON & KATE PLUS 8

Chef Emeril Lagasse pays a visit and within 20 minutes blows his brains out. Bam!

10:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST

Season premiere! Kathy tries to move up and off the D-list by bribing C-lister Bette Midler.

TUESDAY, JUNE 9

9:00 FOX MENTAL

Jack tries to wake up a catatonic patient (Kill Bill's David Carradine) who's been struck by lightning.

11:30 IFC WRONG DOOR

Debut! A Brit sketch comedy troupe that uses CGI (hopefully to fix their teeth).

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 10

8:00 ABC WIPEOUT

Tonight's well-named obstacles include "Banana Hammocks," and "Gears of Doom... Now with Foam."

10:00 BRAVO TOP CHEF MASTERS

Debut! World-famous chefs compete to see who is the chef-iest chef in all of chef-dom!