ONE THING that’s nice about 2016 is that there are some good-faith attempts to treat women like fully formed humans in film and on television. It’s a better time for representation, but it’s still not a great time. For example: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, in which chronically terrible brothers Mike (Adam Devine) and Dave (Zac Efron) are at risk of Mike-and-Dave-ing their sister’s upcoming nuptials in Hawaii. Their family’s solution? They must bring dates—like adult women—to be their babysitters.
HOW DUMB AND ARCHAIC OF A SOLUTION IS THAT?!?
Whatever. Disbelief suspended. So after putting an ad on Craigslist, Mike and Dave meet Alice (Anna Kendrick) and Tatiana (Aubrey Plaza), two hot sociopaths in it for the free Hawaiian vacation, who—twist!—can’t keep these boys on a leash, and even—double-twist!—cause some havoc of their own. Alas, from the lame premise to the dumb execution, M&DNWD ends up feeling super dated. Like, a lengthy bit about a woman with a full bush maybe was 2005-funny, but is definitely not 2016-funny. And this movie was SO OBVIOUSLY written by a couple of dudes. Hate to break it to somebody named fucking Brendan or whatever, but girls don’t hang out together in only their underwear. Not even the hot ones who smoke a lot of weed. Sorry, but it’s true.
While watching these four yahoos trying to out-awful each other wasn’t breaking new ground, I admit that the film had its moments—largely thanks to its irresistibly charismatic stars, and especially Kendrick, who I now want to do ecstasy with, even if that means having to do ecstasy again. It’s just that I would have liked this movie a lot more if these caricatures of women were more like actual women, and that they weren’t competing with dudes for lame jokes. It’s 2016, bros. Let us be terrible all on our own.