B-Movie Bingo: Virtuosity

Your monthly opportunity to literally check off a bingo card full of B-movie clichés! This month: '90s Hollywood handled the emergence of the internet with all the skill and grace of a drunk octopus, but director Brett Leonard was maybe its most inept online visionary. In 1992 he crafted one of the dumbest, ugliest, most unintentionally hilarious movies of the decade by burying Pierce Brosnan and Jeff Fahey under 15 tons of lo-res ridiculousness called The Lawnmower Man. Because the film industry is like the exact opposite of a meritocracy, Paramount let him make another movie about virtual reality and the internet, and guess what? He buried Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe under another 15 tons of lo-res dogshit called Virtuosity, which is essentially a ripoff of Demolition Man but without any of that film's satire, color, charm, or action. It may lack as a work of art when it comes to things like coherence or skill, but you will see young Russell Crowe's naked, shiny ass.

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