Kung Fu Theater: Masked Avengers

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See what the Hollywood Theatre did there? They've got some Avengers, but not the Avengers! This month’s installment in Dan Halsted’s ongoing celebration of all things whoop-ass is a rare 35mm print of 1981’s Masked Avengers, which has absolutely dick to do with a purple nutsack and his gaudy oven mitt terrorizing your favorite costumed superpeople and their amazing facial hair (except for whatever bullshit is stuck to Tony Stark's face—man can invent nano-tech that adds six inches and a six-pack to Robert Downey Jr.'s frame but can't afford one Sharpie to fill in his patchy-ass goatee.) No, Masked Avengers is a dark, bloody tale about a mercenary kung fu master and his team of martial artists seeking out a gang of killers and murdering them all in very violent ways.

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