My Little Pony: The Movie

2017 | 104 minutes | Rated PG

Hasbro is a giant company that makes toys for children. One of their most popular are the Transformers. In 2007 a bad man named Michael Bay was put in charge of making movies about the Transformers, and he’s since dedicated his entire life to summoning forth an ever-swirling hurricane of cinematic dogshit that—even at its friendliest—is 100% inappropriate for the kids these increasingly ugly fucking toys are (ostensibly) manufactured for. Somehow, Hasbro’s other major property, My Little Pony, has escaped such a hell. Sure, there was that weird “Brony” thing from a couple years ago, but that’s mostly dead now. This movie is just a simple animated film about magical multicolored talking horsies. That’s it. There won’t be any decapitations, dismemberments, pissing, robo-testicles, or laminated cards promoting statutory rape anywhere in the film. Just singing cartoon ponies. And rainbows. That’s it. Promise.


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Film Credits
Jayson Thiessen
Emily Blunt, Kristin Chenoweth, Liev Schreiber, Michael Peña, Sia, Taye Diggs, Uzo Aduba, Zoe Saldana, Ashleigh Ball, Andrea Libman, Tabitha St. Germain, Tara Strong, Cathy Weseluck