The third film in the flaccid franchise is filled with B-grade pirates, sea monsters, and Pirates of the Caribbean's CG. In fact, Dawn Treader is exactly like slowly cruising through a low-rent Disney attraction while watching the real-life actors/automatons barely stay on script, desperately trying to remember they're talking to a huge CG rat with a sword. Between Aslan's annoying platitudes and a ridiculous ship that looks like a floating gumdrop, this one seals the deal: No more trips to Narnia for me. I'm too old for this shit. COURTNEY FERGUSON