THURSDAY 12/13

MAN OR ASTRO-MAN?, ZERO ZERO, THE FORTY-FIVES

(Berbati's) Co-billing the neo-surf band Man or Astroman? with the poppy-electronic Zero Zero is a stroke of pure genius. Like David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust in the early '70s, both bands make coy efforts to blend fact, fame, and fiction. The result are elaborate facades: Man or Astro-man? holds to their adamant claim that they are alien beings, while Zero Zero plays shell games with their true identities and alter egos. In an era when pop and hiphop stars talk so intently at their own personalities and successes, such self-effacing good humor is a refreshing ethic. The vintage keyboards and organs of Zero Zero sound like they are bouncing the notes off pogo sticks and the percussionist's grooves stir colorful memories of Burt Bacharach. Zero Zero is a reconfiguration of Lifetime, a New Jersey hardcore band. Less ambiance than a crackling live wire of passion, angst, and glee, that hardcore background grounds their otherwise pithy ditties. PHIL DOT BUSSE

JON AUER, CENTRO-MATIC, THE OUT CROWD

(Blackbird) Jon Auer of the Posies has a voice that feels as clear and honest as a glass of water, and he accompanies it with a sadly but expertly picked guitar. His most recent album, which was solo (he's a cofounder of the Posies), called 6 1/2, was completely made up of covers--including Serge Gainsbourg's "Bonnie & Clyde." With The Out Crowd, a new band featuring Stuart from Paramore and the dude from Brian Jonestown Massacre. KATIA DUNN

FRIDAY 12/14

ONRY OZZBORN RECORD RELEASE, SYSTEMWIDE, DJ S-DUB, SELECTOR E

(Mt. Tabor) Onry Ozzborn's new record, Alone, features a huge cast of the million-person Oldominion crew that he's part of, plus guest appearances by N8 the Gr8 from the Cuf, Boom Bap's Destro, Ezra from Systemwide, and the venerable Doseone from Anticon. (Who, as an aside, released one of my favorite records of the whole year; it's called Hemispheres, and you should run to the store and buy it right away.) The rhyming is largely introspective, Onry's voice leveled at low tone that implies seriousness and intelligence--even more so thanks to the amazing, creative production that mirrors Onry's affiliation with Anticon's "avant-hiphop," and a propensity for tight beats and loose samples. Some of the samples on the record are mind-blowing; bass muted like boulders crashing in succession, the isolated sounds of gasping for breath, a crackling record used as a beat that is so subtle and fixating it's almost maddening. This record is fuckin' hot, my friends, and Onry is a gifted emcee. Don't miss him. JULIANNE SHEPHERD

THE FELLS, THE RIGHTONS, THE PATTERN

(Satyricon) I am one of those people who hates The Strokes, and will freely admit that a large part of it has to do with the fact that they got famous so quickly ONLY because their perfect bow lips are great fodder for the pedophilic media. Oh yeah, and that dude's dad owns a modeling agency. And they're rich and they have a great publicist and lots of money to spend on recording. Otherwise, why are they famous, and not The Pattern, who is doing a similar sort of revivalist rock-and-roll, with bloody, Stooges, "I don't care" vocals and rocker riffs, only like five thousand times better and scummier and more authentic? Oh yeah, perhaps it's because the Pattern actually has members who have been playing music for a long time (in The Peechees, Nuisance, The Cutz, Heart of Snow) and because, you know, the grease in their hair is probably sort of real. Okay, I'm sorry for being so snotty, but for this kind of rock 'n' roll that I normally hate, The Pattern is a group of charmers, because they're not so stuck in the past or reenacting The Lifestyle of Iggy. They're just playing what they play. So why aren't they more famous? JS

THE COMEBACK: NE HISTORY AND JAZZ

(Disjecta) What? You didn't know that Portland has a bustling jazz scene? Here's the best way to catch up to what's been going on here, the Cliff Notes version: Disjecta pulls together some of the "big" names from the local scene for a one-night showcase. Tonight will dwell somewhat on the history of jazz in NE Portland, but it should also be a convincing thesis for the argument that the genre is still evolving--and with young hotshots like pianist Dan Gaynor and sax-player Rob Scheps, doing so right here under our noses in Portland. PHIL BUSSE

GET HUSTLE, THE CHROMATICS, MONITOR BATS, DAS YELLOW SWANS

(Joy, 3826 NE Killingsworth) An organ, a piano, drums, and a vocalist stuck in the space between midnight and the past: Get Hustle conjures the underworld and the devils it brings through their artful, broken music. You never knew darkness had a sound, but their desperately poetic screeches and the denseness of their keyboards prove it. They are bizarre and amazing, like a dusty, magical lamp you'd find in a curiosity shop. With Seattle's Chromatics, who play disjointed, somewhat dance-y art punk, the vehicular bloodbath of the very scary but very composed Monitor Bats, Das Yellow Swans ("Electronic Policemen!"). Also, make sure you look at the art show; it's entitled "8 1/2 BY 11 = DICKXXX 5!5!5!5!," by Brace Pain. Brace, if I'm not mistaken, is internationally famous for his epic comics that showcase the dichotomous juxtaposition of largesse and greed that plagues humanity on the dusty bonfire of a planet. JS

BUTTERFLY TRANSFORMATION SERVICE, HEART BEATS RED, ANDREW KAFFER

(Stumptown on Division) Pop music, sans pretension and, in the case of Heart Beats Red, avec distortion. JS

FIREBALLS OF FREEDOM, PARTY TIME, STARANTULA, THE CHEAPS

(Blackbird) Ever see the '80s movie Real Genius, starring Val Kilmer? There's a scene where the college students throw this wild inflatable pool party. Let's just say the music of Party Time, with their muscle-tough rock solos and crazy vocals about... booze and America... would have been great for that scene. They're a good time band that features the completely unrestrained screams and hilarious lyrics of the Owners' Mike Heiges. Get drunk, throw a pool party, flail around. Do whatever suits you because, as somebody said in an '80s movie (was it the Sensei in Karate Kid? I can't remember.): "The rules are, there are no rules." It's DEFINITELY not Fight Club that I'm thinking of. Shit. Maybe it was that "two dollars" kid in Better Off Dead. Does anyone know what movie that quote is from? If so, send me an email at julianne@portlandmercury.com and if you're right, I'll send you something (not anthrax) in the mail. JS

HELIO SEQUENCE, THE STANDARD, BRAILLE STARS

(Berbati's) The other day, I got a call from Charles Mudede, the Books Editor of Seattle's The Stranger (the Mercury's sister paper, or at least our drunk old uncle paper). He said, "Sometimes, I walk around Seattle and Butterfly, who was in... what was that '90s hiphop group?" "Digable Planets," I responded. "Yes, Digable Planets. Butterfly moved to Seattle and drives around town in a Jaguar, and sometimes picks me up when I'm walking to work." Of course I thought that was pretty weird, but it gets better. Charles asked, "What is the young band from Beaverton, the one that does electronics?" "Helio Sequence?" I said. "Yes! Helio Sequence. Butterfly was playing them in his Jaguar, and I couldn't remember what they were called." Weird, no? Helio Sequence, Portland's own My Bloody Valentine-by-way-of-electronics-and Beatles-harmonics, endorsed by Digable Planets' Butterfly. The world is small. JS

SATURDAY 12/15

ZEKE CD RELEASE, POISON IDEA, BAST, LOPEZ

(Satyricon) Zeke: a screeching, super-fast punk-rock explosion, but it's too uncalculated and in your face. But this is the kind of music punk rockers jump all around to, and maybe if they're in their rooms and really mad, they pull down posters and break their stereos and collections of porcelain miniatures. I like the guitar player, even though the bulk of the stuff is repetitive, every once in a while he shreds the shit up. Another reason I don't want to marry Zeke is because their lyrics are written by second graders. Example: "Power up go ahead/Until you wind up dead/Loaded fuck up so cool it's fun to/watch you drool." If you happen to be my across-the-street-neighbors who drink PBR at 11 am and on Sunday morning and constantly play house-rattling punk, go. KATIE SHIMER

WARREN G, COOL NUTZ, NOCTURNAL RAGE, 831, DJ OG ONE

(Roseland) Warren G encapsulated the sound and posture of California rap in 1994 with the album title Regulate... G-Funk Era. Everyone had a big appetite for the title track "Regulate" (with Nate Dogg), a big-time radio hit. The rest of the '90s seemed only to generate nostalgia for Mr. G's music, with albums such as '97's Look Over Your Shoulder (to remember the G-Funk Era) and '99's I Want It All (implying, of course, that he doesn't have it all, as he did in '94). So what do you do? Bring back the Regulator!! On December 11, Warren G released Return of the Regulator. Even the album cover copies the cover of the '94 release! This move is no doubt inspired by Dr. Dre (Warren G's half-brother), who did pretty much the same thing with songs like "Still" and "Forgot About Dre," and Dre, of course, is once again at the top of his game. For Warren G's sake, I hope he's up for regulating to the fullest. BRIAN GOEDDE

PONGA

(Fez Ballroom) Of all the live instrumental bands that currently espouse the risky, primeval approach of improvisation, Ponga is arguably the finest. Skerik (sax, electronics), Dave Palmer, Wayne Horvitz (keyboards, electronics), and Bobby Previte (drums), play 100 percent improvised music of a nearly all-encompassing nature. Ponga has strived to blur the lines between musical aesthetics in a rocking keyboard-and bass-driven free-improv laboratory setting. It's a warped dimension, where styles and sounds exist in a state of constant interaction, reaction, and evaluation. Electronic music is refracted through a jazz lens, and vice-versa, bringing a myriad of new musical possibilities, sounds, and considerations into focus. JAMES KIRCHMER

HOLY SONS CD RELEASE, THE PLANET THE, THE LONG WINTERS

(Blackbird) On record, Holy Sons consists only of Emil Amos, and his music is full of gorgeous keening and emotional subtlety--every quiet wail, guitar strum, and tap on the high hat is delicately balanced and perfect. Unfortunately, this balance has been thrown off almost every time I've seen the Holy Sons play, because live, Emil is backed by the Vespertines--a great rock band with extremely catchy harmonies on their own, but when they get together with Emil, all the unique qualities of both acts are homogenized into a somewhat disappointing package. Do check out the album, however. The Planet The are recording a new record as we speak, and the Long Winters is Barsuk Records' newest offering, and also includes Mercury contributors Sean Nelson and Michael Shilling. JS

SUNDAY 12/16

HEY MERCEDES, SAVES THE DAY, EASY TARGET

(Roseland) You probably know by now that Hey Mercedes is Braid, but reincarnated in the older, wiser forms of Todd Bell, Damon Atkinson, and Robert Nanna. Of course, the question is, are they really as good as Braid? Well, here's the answer: maybe. It just depends on what you like. They sound a lot older, more complicated, and more sophisticated, but they've certainly lost the I'm-only-19-years-old edge. The lo-fi voices of the young emo boys have become more polished, and the overall jaggedness of their instruments has adopted transitions so smooth, one hardly notices the clutter anymore. I like them, but then again, I'm not 19 anymore, either. KATIA DUNN

HOT DOG RODEO

(Disjecta) To misquote Forrest Gump, this show is like a box of chocolates (or, in this case, hot dogs), an odd sampling of local sensibilities. The bounding defiance of Larry Yes; the smooth self-reflection of Jeff London. The one truism that each performer seems to share is that the soul of Portland cannot be defined in terms of black and white. Roy Tinsel: a straightforward punk? Hardly! He needs to give his punk a glam star twist. Amoree Lovell an accomplished pianist? Well, yes, but that's not enough: She shadows her elegant concertos with towering gothic chords and spices them with honky-tonk kick-up-yer-heels, off-tune notes. They may be serving hot dogs here tonight, but there is nothing else that is simple or plain about the evening. PB

MONDAY 12/17

Here are two aging rockstars some obviously insane people in the Mercury office think are hot: Sebastian Bach, Chris Cornell. Now, visit sebastianbach.com and chriscornell.com. Think they're hot? If so, email katie@portlandmercury.com and let her know what you think!

TUESDAY 12/18

LOS JAGUARES

(Roseland) From Tijuana to Chiapas, Los Jaguares has been consistently delivering a rare product to Mexican youth: a Rock en Español group that actually rocks hard. For some American listeners, that may be disappointing, because we've come to expect various bastardized dashes of norteño or salsa thrown into most "Latin" music. Los Jaguares, however, play it straight--driving guitars, thumping bass, crashing drums, and husky vocals. In fact, the Spanish-language lyrics are the only thing that separates them from sounding like an amalgam of top-tier, polished American rock groups. But don't think they're selling out their roots: Even in Mexico, the decision to sing in Spanish is sometimes a political one, and although Los Jaguares are touring parts of the US, they aren't doing so in conjunction with any English-language release or wider push for an Anglo audience. NATHAN THORNBURGH

MARK LANEGAN

(Berbati's) The solo work of former Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan is intimate and haunted--but better than that, it's sophisticated. Like Tom Waits, Lanegan has a voice that's ravaged and rich with character, willfully cured by the smoke and booze that accompanies years of hard living. And when Lanegan makes sad, it never feels confessional or trite. Just deep. Field Songs, his most recent Sub Pop release, is eloquently shot through with death, loneliness, and odd bursts of humor that only a songwriter of Lanegan's caliber can effectively parlay. JEFF DeROCHE

WEDNESDAY 12/19

BURNING CINDYS, A NEW LAND OF ME, THE KIBBOSH

(Blackbird) Oddly enough, even though I'm a raging hipster, or at least hope others see me that way, I had never been to Club 21 until last Saturday. It was pretty fucked-up and crowded in there, and everyone was pretty punk rock--or pretty dolled-up. Anyhow, my point is that I stumbled into the Burning Cindys playing a show and they were damn good. While bordering on punk rock (a genre I am not in love with), they manage to still be more driving rock, and their crusty singer has a totally diggable scratchy voice, instead of one that annoys the crap out of you until your brain threatens to implode. They know how to play their instruments, too--they don't bang them around like giant babies. One warning: Their fans drink a lot, so don't go to the show if you can't handle a bunch of nuts. Also featuring News Editor Phil Busse's favorite band, The Kibbosh. KS

GOING TO SEATTLE?

Fri 12/14: Damien Jurado (Paradox); Steel Pole BathTub (Second Avenue Pizza); Sleater-Kinney (Showbox);

For more info, visit www.thestranger.com

New Releases Dec. 18: Mystikal*, Nas*, Saturnine, Rocky Votolato, Wu-Tang Clan*
*= may actually turn out okay