THURSDAY 3/18

MORIS TEPPER, OLD TIME RELIJUN
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) Singer/songwriter Moris Tepper has a rich musical resumé, having played with Captain Beefheart as a teenager and having also spent time touring with Robyn Hitchcock, Tom Waits, and PJ Harvey (rumor has it Harvey is joining him on some select dates of this tour). On his solo albums, he incorporates both organic (guitar and banjo) and sampled instruments, blending the blues and folk into his own dark creations. JENNIFER MAERZ

THERAPY: BLACK AND WHITE PARTY W/DJ ALDEN, GRADUAL MELTDOWN, TASTY, ANDROID, RYAN SMITH 4000, FUZZY LOGIC
(Tonic, 3100 NE Sandy) Your retinas will be fried from all the green you saw yesterday (as well as, most likely, your liver and your checking account), so the good people behind this dance party have made the attire guidelines with your relief in mind. It'll be as soothing as a salt and pepper TV screen, with six DJs and two rooms of dancing, with everything folks like to dance to: hiphop, downbeats, houseÉ Also, it is free and the drinks are cheap. MARJORIE SKINNER

METALLICA, GODSMACK
(Rose Garden, 1401 N Wheeler) Rumor has it that the members of Metallica are so sick of each other that they travel on four separate tour busses. What I don't understand, then, is why they keep touring. Everyone agrees they should've quit composing long before they embarrassed themselves with that glorified coaster, Load, then re-embarrassed themselves with Reload. And the schlock just keeps coming. Let's just hope like hell they play tracks from Kill 'Em All, Ride the Lightening, and Master of Puppets, rather than continuing to shame themselves onstage. Quit already Metallica, you're rich! KATIE SHIMER

LIFE AT THESE SPEEDS, EL BUZZARD, SHAMELADY, KAMCHATKA
(Club Awesome) See Music pg 15

FLIP FRISCH
(C-Bar, SE 28th & Gladstone) First of all, Flip Frisch is the only lady you'll ever see who can sing and smile at the same time. Secondly, she is quite fond of writing songs about her oral surgeon. Third, the voice on this guitar-playing singer-songwriter is so pitch-perfect and pure, it will make you want to grow back your virginity. You haven't heard pipes like these in a long time. JB RABIN

FRIDAY 3/19

LAST OF THE JUANITAS, THE PLANET THE, POINT LINE PLANE, E*ROCK
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) For Point Line Plane's next release, they've been picked up by legendary Chicago label Skin Graft (also home to US Maple, Cheer-Accident, Melt-Banana, etc). But tonight, they release their first seven-inch on S-S Records. Join them (semi-recently a trio) for this joyful time--aesthetically, Portland's been a sort of outlying island hub of Skin Graft, anyway, so it makes perfect sense. JULIANNE SHEPHERD

MYG CD RELEASE!, TRASH HEAP, MAC DRE, CASUAL, PEP LOVE, ROCKET ONE, DEE ARTHUR & FLY TRAPPER, ANGEL LE, DJS CHILL, WICKED
(Ash Street) See MWBW pg 13

THE CREEPS, LOPEZ, SK & THE PUNKASS BITCHES
(Twilight, 1420 SE Powell) It's finally the long awaited CD release party for SK & The Punk Ass Bitches, and naturally they're celebrating at home. If you don't hang out at the Twilight, it's likely you've never seen them, but you should make the trip out. SK is the front man, a big sweaty meteor of old-school spirit a la Meatloaf, and his Punk Ass Bitches are a squadron of spry pizza boys buttressing SK's enthusiastic launch against those who would defy the power of rock (throw horns up here). Hilariously, they had to cut back on the number of hard rocking bands they usually play with, because by the time it's their turn, everyone's hella tired. MS

INKED IN BLOOD, CLAYMORE, A TASTE FOR MURDER, HELL PROMISE
(Club Awesome, SE 9th and Pine) PDX hardcore explodes on Solid State like Ebola on helpless African communities from the 1990s. And with band names like Inked in Blood and A Taste for Murder, you best take them seriously. Murder plays fast guitar riffs with the crazy energy of testosterone fueled boys whose spirits have yet to be numbed by thousands of gallons of alcohol. Go to the show, and let a little of their blessed enthusiasm rub off on you. KS

EIGHT FROZEN MODULES, EDIT, PHTHALOCYANINE, DJS BRIAN FOOTE, HERRMANITO
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) If there were such things as 3-D hermaphrodite-bestiality porn flicks, Eight Frozen Modules (LA mentalist Ken Gibson) is the dude you'd want to score 'em. His two most recent albums, Thought Process Disorder: [Delusional Malfunction] and The Abduction of Barry, have thrust him to the summit of abstract-expressionist spazztronica. Gibson combines the rhythmic pranksterism of peak Aphex Twin and Otto Von Schirach with a Xenakis-like zest for innovative textures. He's the mad scientist who can get raunchy for the ladies, if need be. (Rumor has it Gibson's been working on some killer minimal tech-house tracks.) Phthalocyanine (Dimitri Fergadis) is even more of a savage sonic force than 8FM. His chaotic, disaster-zone techno makes nearly everyone else's music sound effete and timid. Phthalo warns, "I'm here on this planet like a fucking wrecking ball to make a mess of you." DAVE SEGAL

PSYCHEDELIC FURS, BERLIN, BILL WADHAMS OF ANIMOTION
(Roseland, NW 6th & Burnside) In the race to resell nostalgia for top dollar, I don't know what kind of bill is worse--one that features members of old hair-metal bands like L.A. Guns, or one that features members of '80s pop bands like Animotion and Berlin. It makes you wonder: Couldn't any of these guys make a name for themselves with something besides having been a one-hit wonder 20 years ago? The one band on this bill that I can surely say is worth the trip back down memory lane, though, is the Psychedelic Furs. I saw them perform in San Francisco a couple years back and was stunned at how they hit all the songs note for note, leaving the audience awash in swooning synth rock and perfectly raspy Brit vocals from frontman Richard Butler, who, through some sort of technological wizardry, sounded just as sexy as he did in the old days. JM

SATURDAY 3/20

THE RAMSEY BROTHERS, SPIDERS ON SPIDERS, ERICA, THE SLOW ROLLERS, MANIC D & DJ PAPERCUTS, TURTLE ISLAND, KAY KAY, STEPH, JUNIOR PRIVATE DETECTIVE, NAMI HALL, DJ FREEZE
(Liberty Hall, 311 N. Ivy) It's been a year since a war spawned by deception has frayed and snapped US relations with many of our allies, and perpetrated untold violence in the name of oil. Tonight, protest the Bush Administration's ongoing, unjust war, and celebrate one of its few good effects: Al-Muajaha, Iraq's first independent paper, which reports truly on life in their US-occupied country. It's only three or five bucks to get in, and features mostly hiphop (including organizer/activist and hiphop artist Su'ad Abdurrafi performing with the ever-solid Ramsey Brothers), but also promises punk, spoken word, acrobats, and political info. JS

PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, ANNA OXYGEN, UNITED STATE OF ELECTRONICA
(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) Not that I'm suggesting she doesn't wholly deserve it, but don't you think it's a little weird that the Presidents of the United States of America are so into Anna Oxygen? Since reuniting sometime last year, the only relevant band to ever come out of Seattle has asked the electro-pop ingénue to play a number of seemingly high-profile shows in the city--before what I imagine must be a terrifying demographic--and now they're lugging her down here. Am I wrong in thinking this is sort of weird? I guess they're both "bubbly," or "wacky" or whatever--and her performances are always engaging. I don't know. It's just a weird marriage, right? Am I wrong about this? ZAC PENNINGTON

BENEFIT FOR DESIREE: THE STORES, PAPILLON, MA FORD, COCAINE UNICORN, LOVELY, JACKIE, THE OUT CROWD, MAN OF THE YEAR, CHARM PARTICLES, HINDI GUNS
(524 SE Ash) Desiree's lucky to have so many people care about her, and even luckier that those people play in kick ass bands. That good luck is much needed to balance out all the bad luck: a rejected kidney, staph infection, pneumonia, insane hospital bills, and other icky things you don't even want to think about. And you don't have to, because all benefits aside this is like an all you can eat buffet of hot Portland rock bands all in one place. There's the moody pop of The Stores (Hey, anyone like Dinosaur Jr.?), Ma Ford's awesome female vocalist, the sleazy diva rock of Lovely, drugged out cool of Jackie, moon gazing, pedal effect-happy Charm ParticlesÉ it's not like you can just call 1-800-GET-COOL, but this is preeetty close. MS

CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION, WAX POETIC
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) Children of the Revolution offer more than your average flamenco/Greek/rap hybrid bandÉ yes, I know, that's not very average. But if you couldn't afford to kick it at the Ballet Yerba Buena earlier this month, Children of the Revolution are more street style, grittier, with spectacular performance of flamenco, the dance. JS

LUOMO, STRATEGY, E3, NORDIC SOUL
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See Music pg 15

TABLET LAUNCH SHOW W/BUTTFRENCHERS, RIOT A GO GO, MEXICAN BLACKBIRDS
(Twilight, 1420 SE Powell) Tablet, once a biweekly Seattle-based broadsheet, now a monthly glossy, is expanding its distribution to Portland; tonight, they kick it off with a devastating rock show featuring Dirtnap garage punk faves the Mexican Blackbirds. Not surprisingly, they are from Tacoma. There's something in the Rainier. (And soon, there'll be something in the Rainier in Portland, now that the sadistic Pabst distro dudes are going once-a-week and PDX bars are being forced to dry up.) JS

SUNDAY 3/21

LE FLANGE DU MAL, NOT BREATHING, SOLENOID
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) Boasting members from the gamut of bay area noise freaks, Le Flange Du Mal promise performance and din. Kimosciotic Records mogul (and Ziegenbock Kopf conspirator) Chris Rolls ringleads Jason Stamberger of Crack:WAR, Chris Clones of Subarachnoid Space, and dissident Crash Worshipper Liz Albee. With a combination of dance beats, heavy effects, and white noise, this could end up like the infamous party where Tarzan and his amazing friends first discovered Throbbing Gristle. Dave Wright's prolific Not Breathing band adds more homemade electronic squall on a bill overseen by Solenoid, Portland's foremost authority on wired sound corrosion. NATHAN CARSON

ODDS AGAINST TOMORROW, KIESKAGATO, MISSION TO MARS, POLITE FICTION
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) Cleverly shrouding themselves in the surrounding bands, this show is actually the CD release for Mission to Mars. Despite what the name implies, these guys are not spacey, gazing at neither comets nor shoes. Instead theirs is a very grounded approach to pop rock. Pop rock in the best sense, with sexy vocals that mention TV and magazines (imagine a DNA splice of Bowie and Brian Adams), backed by high-energy instrumentation. They've also mastered the all-important pop skill of composing incredibly catchy intros. This is a sweet and structurally sound guilty pleasure. MS

THE HATERS, JOHN WIESE, NOGGIN, BROKEN PENIS ORCHESTRA
(I.C. Mummy, 312 NE San Rafael) Wiese has just finished his set and it was brutal--massive static swells and bright, oscillating tones. You're thinking, "Dude, this guy's the Jerry Bruckheimer of noise," when a large and heavily-inked hand grips your shoulder. You trepidly turn to face a hulk of a man dressed in an all-black Mexican wrestler get-up. He is GX Jupitter-Larsen, AKA the Haters. Without a word, he yanks you on stage, slings a truck tire over your shoulder, and goes at it with an amplified power drill. After 20 minutes or so the sonic assault ends. You now have tinnitus and are sickened by the noxious burnt-rubber fumes. Mr. Larsen softly thanks you and offers a few thoughts on entropy, though you are unable to follow his circuitous logic. "This is irony," he declares. "And irony is funny." DANIEL MITHA

LORD, SPECTOR PROTECTOR, EATS TAPES, LE FLANGE DU MAL
(Grand Central Bowl, 801 SE Morrison) One of my favorite albums of last year was a composition by The User, released on Asphodel, in which they employed nothing but Okidata printers as musical instruments. It was a mesmerizing piece, not minimal or very serious as you might expect, but a racket of clattering motion and run through with humor. I think of Bay Area duo Eats Tapes (fka Boom de la Boom) in a similar manner; though they don't give new life to obsolete gear, they use a deck of live circuits to make cartoony-fun techno that pops with invention. And, if you're one of those concerned with the "humanness" factor in your technology-reliant tunes, you'll be happy to know some of their tunes are anthropomorphic, like a posse of ducks led by a baying elephant is swarming down on upon the dancefloor. Quack, quack. JS

MONDAY 3/22

FRANZ FERDINAND, CROSSTIDE
(Berbati's, 231 SE Ankeny) See Music pg 15

NORMA JEAN, UNDEROATH, BELOVED, DEAD POETIC, HASTE THE DAY
(Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine) Nothing says hardcore like a Christian band with a Marilyn Monroe moniker. But don't expect Norma Jean to pop out of a cake singing "Happy birthday, baby Jesus" in seductive siren's tones. This Atlanta-based act alternates between thrashing at unholy speeds and driving doom-laden riffs into the ground. Formerly known as Luta-Kriss, the group went candle-in-the-wind after an animated rapper with a similar name and a wildly dissimilar message rolled out into the spotlight. Since the switch, the group has started focusing on secular club gigs rather than church shows; no longer does it preach, in guttural, death-metal tongues, to the choir. ANDREW MILLER

TUESDAY 3/23

MOUNT EERIE, THANKSGIVING, PIPDIPDIPDIDI, MIGOU
(Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine) Phil Elverum feels like the most famous person I know. Sure, I may be loosely acquainted with a couple of people whose names may be slightly more household, but in measure of sheer global devotion, I've never really known anything like the cult of the Microphones. A kind of zealous faction that sees hyper-ventilation and dampened palms, that packs shows with cross-legged admirers, and that soars eBay bids into the hundreds. A kind of fame made all the more honorable by an apparently conscious bid to slough it all off. Recently releasing his final proper (or rather, not quite proper) Microphones record in the form of a live album recorded in Japan last year, Elverum has been born anew as Mount Eerie. Which is a lot like the Microphones, but with less name recognition. ZAC PENNINGTON

JOAN OF ARC, LOVE OF EVERYTHING, THE MAKE BELIEVE
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) TRIPLE KINSELLA ALERT! Joan of Arc isn't for everyone with their choppy, unconventional song constructions and Tim Kinsella's maniacal wail. In fact, I'd dare to say that his bands Joan of Arc and Make Believe aren't for most people. But if you dig the zany genius wail that runs rampant in his music--and all three bands on this line-up--you'll be in your own little corner of heaven. KS

WEDNESDAY 3/24

GLASS CANDY, THE FORMLESS, DUSTY SPARKLES, DJ MAXIMILLION
(Grand Central Bowl, 801 SE Morrison) Local duo The Formless have transitioned from garagey to the same cave as Sonic Youth Sister--which, at its best, is hypnotic in its repetitive drone and determined girl-screams--thuddy, modern primitive guitar noise that's as stripped down and primal as it is breaking a hole in your ear. JS

SWITCHFOOT, JEALOUS SOUND, COPELAND
(Crystal, 1332 W Burnside) Here's some rock n' roll that's not afraid of its feelings. Switchfoot is as radio friendly as a sad band gets, with soaring hooks and lyrics like "This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be?" Too Goo Goo Dolls for our blood, but at least the Jealous Sound is always fun, with their stripped-down, tough-sounding emo licks, and infectious belt-outs from head-shaved, young Uncle Fester-looking frontman Blair Shehan. JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS

ACEYALONE, VISIONARIES, EVIL HANDS, DJ EVIL ONE
(Berbati's, 231 SE Ankeny) See Music pg 15