CRACK CITY ROCKERS, MARCH FOURTH, 8 FOOT TENDER
(Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd) Eric Gregory writes cool as ice power pop songs, performs with fire in his heart, and is blessed with very, very good looks. But because he's not between the ages of 19 and 27, his band (the questionably named Crack City Rockers) never seems to get the thumbs up they so rightly deserve. When you consider all the well-coiffed buzz bands that want to claim kinship with the smarty punk of Television, it's pretty clear that this brainy and charming 40-year-old and his hard-living cohorts should have first dibs. If some young coke machine in a tattered blazer played songs half this good, he'd be pretending to smash his guitar on Conan in no time. KIP BERMAN

JAMES LOW BAND, A.C. COTTON, MISS MICHAEL JODELL
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) James Low's debut CD in 2000, Mexiquita, was a lovely collection of mournful ballads a la Bruce Springsteen's The Ghost of Tom Joad. For his more recent effort, 2002's Blackheart, The Laurelthirst stalwart's amped up the volume, and the resulting countrified rockers were less interesting, many bordering on outright rockabilly. Note to alt-country musicians: don't drown out the slide guitar; it is your best friend. Note to self: this show is free. Free = good. JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS

NOISE AND ART FEATURING DANIEL MENCHE, BEHALF, WORLD, DECAPOD CLAW, OSCILLATING INNARDS, FRONT MACHINE, AND MORE
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside) Decapod Claw (also known as Jesse James) is often compared to Aphex Twin, but he tends to eschew demented videos for intense IDM and the occasional electro pop ballad. DC has also been described as "metal made entirely with electronics." Daniel Menche, on the other hand, works from "somatic sounds," incorporating nature sounds and broken equipment into his synth-free electronic music. Front Machine is Howard Gillam, who also performs under the name Supersprite and is the newest member for Portland's beloved Point Line Plane. Like Menche, Gillam mixes "found sounds" with his beats, and the results are quite impressive. All three acts push boundaries and go far beyond what iMac musicians usually produce. This show will also serve as the opening for the "NoiseaNoise" art installation. It's sure to be a challenging evening; none of this music is easy listening, but wrapping your brain around it can be quite rewarding. CORTNEY HARDING

SOUR GRAPES, SWAN ISLAND, THE CAPRICORNS
(Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Misssissippi) A slap-dash bi-coastal (or, rather, by bi-regional) electro two-piece, the Capricorns play the sort of music people used to call electroclash when people were too lazy to listen to music. These days, the Capricorns may come off a little slow on the electro uptake for many, but with a little patience, the duo unravel themselves as something altogether different. With virtuosic Casio arpeggio and all-too-earnest crooning, the Chicago by way of Athens (by way of Olympia by way of just about everywhere else) twosome could probably draw the most clear comparisons to the operatic lo-fi of Anna Oxygen--or, more specifically, Oxygen's defunct Space Ballerinas. This is a rare tour for the ladies--and with the loveable scamps in Sour Grapes along for the ride, you'll have a difficult time justifying another depressing night in. ZAC PENNINGTON

FRIDAY 1/7

BIG BUSINESS, PORNSTORE JANITOR, DITCHLIQUOR, EVENING AT THE BLACK HOUSE
(Sabala's Mt Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne) See Music, Pg 17

THE DIVORCE, THE CAROLINES, CLIMBER
(Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd) See Music, Pg 17

FIREBALLS OF FREEDOM, DARK SKIES
(Devil's Point, 5305 SE Foster) Portland's most favorite, best girl of a garage band, Fireballs of Freedom, work the old magic once again. Seeing them at least once is almost a Portland institution, like Pittock Mansion or eating at Jake's. If you haven't seen them you must be so new here that you drink from the public water fountains downtown. MARJORIE SKINNER

GOURDS, POWER OF COUNTY
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) What the heck are the Gourds? The group that made one of the best damn albums of 2004, that's what. Blood on the Ram, the Gourds' seventh full-length, offers a powerful reminder that this rowdy ensemble are tough to pigeonhole when peddling their own compositions. "Lower 48" prominently features accordion and fiddle--the arrangement suggests a zydeco band fattened on a diet of cough syrup, biscuits, and sausage gravy. The lyrics, meanwhile, rattle off all the states of the continental U.S. of A., without coming off like second-rate Gilbert and Sullivan. "Triple T Gas" boasts a jubilant ballpark organ and blistering, bluesy guitar, romping along like a collaboration between Nick Lowe and Creedence Clearwater Revival. KURT B. REIGHLEY

HALO, MIRROR, LOKI
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) Legendary old school House DJ, Halo, will be spinning for THREE HOURS tonight, so if you're not a fanÉ uh, don't go or something. JWS

TRAUMA LE TRON, VI FOOT SLOTH, THE PLANTS
(Jasmine Tree, 401 SW Harrison) The seemingly eternal (and welcome) marriage of Trauma Le Tron and VI Foot Sloth--thumping cinemascapes and earnest slowcore, respectively--is rattled a bit this evening by new-come neo-folk home-wreckers the Plants. A twosome featuring Point Line Plane's Josh Blanchard, The Plants strip away the sharp edges that you might expect in favor of simpler, more acoustical forms. Besides, when was the last time you took a wintry bike ride down to the eternally yellow, terrifically Lynchian Jasmine Tree? Exactly. ZP

SHOW ME THE PINK, SCREAM CLUB, EUROMOTION
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside) Euromotion describe themselves as, "a dance band from the future," but most reasonable people don't consider Berlin in 1987 the future. Regardless of where they happen to be from, they've come to Portland and by God, they're making me dance. At their Holocene show a few weeks ago, I alternated between bopping around the room and giggling at the ridiculous, yet very creative, accents and lyrics. Based on the posters I'd seen floating around, I thought Scream Club were two annoying, over-styled hipster DJs. To set the record straight, they're an electroclashy riot grrrl band who are often compared to Le Tigre and Peaches. Bitch magazine called them "rap's new feminist icons," Bruce La Bruce praises them as "queercore's next generation," and even Yoko Ono has thrown her support behind the Olympia band. For once, I just might have to believe the hype. CORTNEY HARDING

SATURDAY 1/8

APE SHAPE, DAVIES VS. DRESCH
(Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd Ave) Ape Shape is something of an indierock orchestra playing vaguely jazzy, semi-Clashy, sorta rocky numbers that can't help but amaze considering the wealth of talent they've got onstage. If you're a stargazer, look out for Sara Lund of Unwound and Ralf Youtz of the Halo Benders in the mix. Oh, and I think there might even be a Zappa in there, but maybe I just dreamt that. KATIE SHIMER

THEBROTHEREGG, DEAREST CROWN
(Music Millennium, 801 NW 23rd) So, the ACTUAL name of Dearest Crown is Dearest, Crown--note the comma. But see, if I stuck that comma in the above title you would be confused and think there were actually THREE bands playing tonight: thebrotheregg, Dearest, and Crown. Normally, I curse the unborn children of bands that choose names that meddle with the Mercury's sacred "Up and Coming" format, but in Dearest, Crown's (sighÉ ) case, I can be somewhat forgiving, as I quite enjoy their quirkily catchy melodies, and cozily twangy musicianship. Warning to bands I don't like: keep extraneous punctuation out of your names, or you will go down. Hard. JWS

QUIVAH, SUCKAPUNCH
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) As far as seven-piece, classically educated, live hiphop ensembles go, it's really hard to beat Portland's own Quivah, who released their second album--the acclaimed Break the Hold--earlier this year. Since then, the group has been reasonably quiet, preparing the release of their second DVD, which is comprised largely of material filmed during Break the Hold's CD release show. For a more immediate experience, however, why not make just one more trip down to the Doug Fir for this evening's show, joined by Suckapunch? ZP

LORD GORE, ENGORGED, SPLATTERHOUSE, RITUAL WAR CREATION
(Sabala's Mt Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne) Engorged should be getting more cred than they are, 'cuz these speed metalers are bringing back the early Metallica guitar acrobatics we all miss so much. Both Engorged and Lord Gore have growly vocals, although I must say, Lord Gore's are so low and horrifying I would have a hard time listening to their CD at home alone--and if I did so while stoned on pot I'd probably have to be taken to the mental institution. Lord Gore also breaks into some insane speed guitar mayhem--so if you're a fan of real metal, see this show. KS

MONKEY TRICK, THE PUNK GROUP
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 15, Once More With Feeling, Pg 25.

SUNDAY 1/9

LAST SECOND LEFT, HOLLOW POINT, I AM THE ARM, ATYPICAL THEME
(Sabala's Mt Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne) Local three-piece I Am The Arm stutter-stop over frantic time signature--rolling bass lines and uniformly metal-proficient guitars dance and trip and collapse back onto themselves as a chorus of guttural shouts paint a picture of violent intent. This is the sound of the mid-to-late '90s--back when indie bands could play their instruments with angered proficiency, and could do so with an irony-free sense of humor. This is a good sound. ZP

SMEGMA, ANLA COURTIS, THE SKATERS, YUMA NORA
(The Nest, 6125 NE Mallory) The Northwest's longstanding patriarchs of noise music, Smegma, have gone from obscurity to collaborations with contemporary hip outfits like Wolf Eyes. Although responsible for some ground breakingly experimental din, their music is more easily accessible for the non-obsessed. Moving on down the genealogy, Portland's Yuma Nora are standing out as one of our most popular duos of experimentalists, making almost operatic, not unduly caustic, and rather beautiful noise. MS

MONDAY 1/10

DAVENPORT, NOANCER VS. NEQUAQUAM VACUUM, DEAD AIR FRESHENERS, A: FREQUENCY
(Jasmine Tree, 401 SW Harrison) Another evening brought to you by the happily impenetrable folks of 36 Invisibles, which means--you guessed it--a bunch of impossibly alienating performance drawing influence from all across the globe. The centerpiece of the evening (or at least the folks who drove the furthest) appears to be Madison, WI's ritual music collective Davenport, who combine African percussion with howling and screaming and a big ol' mess of other unintelligible yelping. Joining the Wisconsinites are Portland's Dead Air Fresheners, Seattle performance art/music duo A: Frequency, and a collaborative performance between Seattle's Noancer and 36 Invisible reps Nequaquam Vacuum. ZP

FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND, A THORN FOR EVERY HEART, NO WARNING, THE BREAK
(Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd Ave) Last night at a bar across the street from my house, my friend Leslie told me about a guy who once asked her to talk dirty with him over Instant Messager. Instead, she sent something called "badlibs," essentially fill-in-the-blank filth that initially reads "I am (verb)ing your (noun) so (adjective) right now" before being completed. That she sent it to him as-is seemed perfect; no need for actual passion or emotion when partaking in something so obvious. Looking at these factory-processed emo band's names in plain black ink, it's kind of the same concept. But if you were to sell Wales' Funeral For A Friend short based on their name alone, then fuck it. You probably don't deserve the edgy, Brit-pop-influenced extremo that has made singer and former fanzine publisher Matt Davies as famous overseas as the members of Take That who aren't named Robbie Williams. They can't all be wrong. TREVOR KELLEY

NICE BOYS, ELECTRIC SHADOWS, YOUNG PLAYTHINGS, CATHOLIC BOYS, CLOROX GIRLS
(Sabala's Mt Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne) This show's got it all with the adorably sloppy punk of the Clorox Girls, the loud youthful mayhem of the Catholic Boys, and the energetic and unannoying powerpop of the Young Playthings. Strangely, though, the whole lineup sounds like a pedophile's wet dream. I wonder if that was intentional. KS

TUESDAY 1/11

If you think you're so smart, then why don't you do it?

WEDNESDAY 1/12

BEYOND ALL REASON, LIVID, SYX, ROSE MOYER
(Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd) Suffocating any last scrap of dignity attached to their career, Guitar Center-Metal five-piece Beyond All Reason (literally--their guitarist is like an assistant manager or some shit) are gleefully cashing in on the tiny scrap of fame they gleened from their time on MTV's Battle For OzzFest--a battle which they, invariably, lost. ZP