Halloween is the one night of the year when it's totally cool to drop all indie pretension, down a couple cans of lukewarm Sparks in the parking lot, and go see a cover band. Whether you see a quality cover band like Purple Reign, or the sheer sideshow value of MiniKISS, Halloween is where actual music takes a backseat to presentation and costumes. But why stop there? I've long been a supporter of the idea of incorporating a network of quality indie/punk cover bands, and not just on Halloween night, I want them all the time. I'm talking full-time touring tribute bands that offer the audience a chance to see a band that might have split before you got into music, or just a night to relive your youth, long before you were saddled with the albatross of a mortgage, receding hairline, and loveless marriage. So for all the musicians out there being rewarded with empty venues while you pour your heart out with your original music, quit your band and start learning the songs by one of these bands...

Band: the Replacements

Explanation: The best part of starting a 'Mats tribute band is that you don't even have to play your instruments all that well. Talent didn't stop the real thing from creating some of the most memorable records of the '80s, and even if you do have skills onstage, you can stick to their later material. Regardless of what era you choose, you are required to drink heavily, not comb your hair, and play "Bastards of Young" on a nightly basis.

Band Name Suggestion: Tommy's Tonsils

Band: Nation of Ulysses

Explanation: Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no matter how good you sound in your basement, odds are you'll never be as explosive and downright important as the Nation of Ulysses. Like so many NoU fans, I never got to see the band in their prime, so my dream to someday hear a live version of "A Kid Who Tells on Another Kid Is a Dead Kid," now rests firmly in your hands. Don't let me down.

Band Name Suggestion: Ian Svenonious Blues Explosion

Band: Drive Like Jehu

Explanation: Since so many bands have been inadvertently covering Jehu for years now, why not just re-create the real thing? No need to dress up, unless you want to mimic John Reis' sweet pompadour, in which case you'll need to buy Murray's Pomade by the box lot.

Band Name Suggestion: Drive Like Jay, Who?

Band: The Decemberists

Explanation: I know what you're thinking, the Decemberists are still around, so what gives? Well, remember back when not all that long ago you could see the band play for free at a house party or for a couple bucks at a club? Now that the band is big time (and deservingly so), you have to share them with just about everyone else in the world. Screw that; it's time to stop the nonsense and bring back the Decemberists we all know and love, the ones who will perform for beer money. This idea worked wonders for "comedian" Gallagher who had an offshoot of himself tour in his place for years. Plus, as the unofficial understudies to the real thing, you might get your shot at fame when the real Colin Meloy gets a sore throat and they need a replacement.

Band Name Suggestion: The Novemberists