THURSDAY 11/16

OHMEGA WATTS, TITA LIMA, ONRY OZZBORN, SMOKE

(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) I hope this show is packed-to-the-gills sold out. I hope every ticket is purchased, and it is so full that faces are pressed into sweaty backs, and moving your arms is a goddamn task. I hope as Onry Ozzborn's angry, goth-rap peters away, a humming buzz of anticipation slowly pulses from the crowd. I hope when Ohmega Watts steps on to the stage, there is a Pacific Ocean of faces staring back at him, eagerly awaiting a solid dose of his soul-tinged musical stylings. I hope after his exhaustive set, the crowd is numb, dumbstruck by his ability to infuse conscientious lyrics with energy sure to get even the most hipster of Portlanders nodding their heads. I hope in the fire-laced shadows of Dante's, P-town's hiphop heads are violently smacked upside themselves with the sudden realization that this man performing in front of them is the real deal; because, honestly, Ohmega Watts is that good. NOAH SANDERS

SYSTEM AND STATION, MINMAE, SOUTHERLY

(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) Quick, name three things to come out of Boise, Idaho. Give up? If you said Built to Spill, you're off to a good start, but it gets tricky after that. Um... potatoes? Racial profiling? Try System and Station. Formed in Boise in 1998, S&S wound up in Portland in '01, via Madison, Wisconsin. At this point, considering the influx of new bands this town has seen, they're practically old timers. Try to imagine the sound of Sabbath, Sunny Day Real Estate, Radiohead, Van Halen, and the Police all crammed in a 10'-by-10' room playing PlayStation. Can you hear it? Good. It's not a very accurate way to describe the noise that is S&S—I just thought it'd be fun. Plus, classifications like "emo," "guitar rock," and "pop-punk" make me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. Simple terms like those probably better describe what System and Station do, but who can resist the thought of Thom Yorke and Ozzy playing Halo? Not me. MATT DRISCOLL

LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM

(Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway) Dear Satan, I, Lindsey Buckingham, agree to exchange my immortal soul to you for the following: (1) A wicked hot liaison with a nubile young songstress between 1970–1976, and a breakup so infamous we'll both sing about it for the next 50 years. (2) Emergence from the biggest, coke-fueled, soap opera of a '70s supergroup unscathed and ridiculously rich. I can quit and rejoin said supergroup whenever I fucking feel like it. (3) A supremely unique, bluegrass-inspired, finger-picking guitar style to be immortalized on one of the biggest-selling records of all time and copied throughout eternity. (4) Despite flirtations with curly mullets and shoulder pads in the '80s, I will, in 2006, be even sexier than I was in 1976. Yours in darkness, LB. MA'CHELL DUMA LAVASSAR

BITCH, THE MAYBE HAPPENING

(Rotture, 315 SE 3rd) The Maybe Happening has a stupid band name, but goddamn are they some hella spicy indiepop! It's spirited, exciting, stompin' stuff that brings all sorts of messy (messy-good, though) basement orchestration into its mix of real-deal guitar riffs (squealy!), and Decemberists-ish vocals. Love that violin sawin' too. Check these dudes out! GRANT MORRIS

FRIDAY 11/17

THE PINK SNOWFLAKES, THE HANDS, THE FLIPTOPS

(Acme, 1305 SE 8th) When the Pink Snowflakes play a show, it's like looking through an old shoebox and stumbling on pictures of your parents in the '60s, smoking grass and rolling around naked in a field of sunflowers. Scratch that. It's like finding pictures of your parents dropping acid and rolling around naked in a field of razorblades. The Snowflakes are psyche pop with a concealed weapons permit—surprisingly dirge-y and substantial at times, but still flowery enough to ensure a good trip. While Flaming Lips comparisons seem to be handed out like STDs at a frat party these days, if ever a situation called for such a comparison, it's now. It's almost like the Snowflakes work at it. MD

THE SPROCKETTES, SHOW ME THE PINK, DJ PUPPET, DJ SNIFFLES, ROMANTEEK

(Disjecta, 230 E Burnside) This event is going to be such an awesome family fun time! The Sprockettes, Portland's very own all-girl mini-bike dance team is hosting a whole weekend of fun. Beginning with an International Dance-Off and Benefit, the ladies in pink and black are going to go wheel to wheel with Vancouver, BC's "the B:C:Clettes" and the "Brakes." And how about "On the Double," an all-girl double-Dutch crew from Seattle? I tell you what—you're gonna be inspired to try some fancy moves. The first time I watched the Sprockettes was at a CHUNK 666 event off of Division a year or two back. (A hint: If you're a novice, whisky and bike choreography sometimes don't mix. One of these days, ask me about my moves, "the sideways bike smash" and "the bloody palms.") Take the tricks to the dancefloor later in the evening with DJ Puppet and DJ Sniffles and shake the night away. Be sure to catch a few of the other events throughout the weekend, including a mini-bike alleycat, bike polo at Alberta Park, a tall-bike building workshop, and a bike beer scavenger hunt! I love it—thanks Sprockettes, you effin rule! SALINA NUÑEZ

POINT JUNCTURE, WA, VELELLA VELELLA, THE SHAKY HANDS, DAT'R

(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) Chances are, you've heard of PDX's Point Juncture, WA by now. Who knows, though; maybe you've been in a coma, or spent the last few years secluded in your basement stockpiling baked beans and water waiting for the apocalypse. If that's the case, Point Juncture, WA is a band, not a place—just like their website states. For now anyway, until the foreseeable moment when this shit goes nationwide and indie kids all over the country start singing the praise of Point Juncture, WA, they're a band Portland can cherish as its own, and hold tightly in its back pocket. They've been called a lot of things—mathy, dreamy, prog, and unconventional—but let's be honest. Math's no fun. My dreams are rarely as colorful as Point Juncture. The term "prog" reminds me too much of Genesis. And "unconventional" doesn't even come close to summing up this band. They've been on tour with Velella Velella, so welcome them back accordingly. MD

CACOPHONY: 15 DEGREES BELOW ZERO, ARGUMENTIX, CRITICAL THEATER, SOUP PURSE, DEAD/BIRD, FORREST FRIENDS, AUBREY BIRDWELL, JAY BLOHM

(Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th) See Music, pg. 27.

SATURDAY 11/18

THE ALBUM LEAF, DIRTY ON PURPOSE, THE LYMBIC SYSTEM

(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) I'll be honest. The Album Leaf surprised—no, shocked me. Frontman Jimmy LaValle is of course also the bassist for indie stalwarts the Black Heart Procession, a band I find dreary and somewhat pain inducing. Thus I expected a similar old-timey, depressive sound from the Album Leaf. What I found instead was the opposite—a dreamy, electronically tinged ambience uncluttered by BHP's gloom and doom. The Album Leaf craft delicate layers of sound that build and build into fragile, cloudlike structures you can almost feel embracing you. A tightly woven cocoon of softly peaking strings and understated drumbeats designed for some good old-fashioned soul searching. In short, the Album Leaf's breezy soundscapes are a Portland hipster's wet dream: music specifically created to inspire introspective head nodding, feet shuffling, and dark-corner lurking. Put away your dancing shoes and spit-polish your thick-framed glasses, because it's going to be a slow, beautiful evening. NS

COPELAND, THE APPLESEED CAST, ACUTE, OWEN

(Hawthorne Theater, 1507 SE 39th) The Appleseed Cast's singer, Christopher Crisci, is no ghost, though internet rumors circulated about his suicide this summer. However, Peregrine, the titular character from the group's 2006 concept album, is a vengeful apparition. Scattered details emerge through the feedback fog: Peregrine's family is brutally dysfunctional, and a knife probably figured in her demise, given that the weapon surfaces in five songs. The riveting instrumentation makes further divulgence irrelevant. Peregrine ranges from psychedelic country to austere electronics and elliptical post-punk, with colossal percussion anchoring all variations. Drummer Nathan Richardson recently departed (the band, not this mortal coil), so Aaron Coker commandeers the kit. ANDREW MILLER

30 SECONDS TO MARS, HEAD AUTOMATICA, COBRA STARSHIP, ROCK KILLS KID, RECEIVING END OF SIRENS

(Roseland, 8 NW 6th) Oh my god! Are you totally serious? Jordan Catalano from My So-Called Life is in a BAND!?! 30 Seconds to Mars? And the sad gay guy plays drums, the depressed ugly girl plays bass, and the misunderstood slutty one sings backup? That is the best, THE BEST thing eevvvvvveeeeeer! Wait, what? It's not Jordan Catalano? It's just the guy who played dreamy Jordan? Oh yucksters, is he wearing make-up and dressing like one of those gross goth kids my mom tells me not to hang out with? And what kind of music does he play? No, I don't know what you mean by "generic nü-metal," but it sounds absolutely groooooooooooooosss. I am so not going to that concert. I'm just gonna sit at home and let mumsy comb my hair while I eat lollipops and Milk Duds and write love letters to (hee hee) Jordan. Oh my god, I am so excited. NS

JEFF DANIELS

(Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) See Music, pg. 29.

SUNDAY 11/19

MACEO PARKER

(Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) Maceo Parker? One word: Funk. That is where his greatest contribution to the world of pop music can be heard. During the '70s, his saxophone style helped build that type of sound, that attitude, that spirit that stands as a bridge between '60s soul and '80s R&B. He played with James Brown, Fred "Breakin' Bread" Wesley, and George Clinton. In 1993, he contributed to De La Soul's Buhloone Mindstate, and later joined Prince's New Power Generation. For those whose religion is to "live for the funk, and die for the funk," James Brown is God, George Clinton is Jesus, and Maceo Parker is John the Baptist. CHARLES MUDEDE

DANZIG, LACUNA COIL, THE HAUNTED, BELPHEGOR, ASESINO

(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) Once again, Glenn Danzig is launching his Ozzfest alternative, the almost-annual Blackest of the Black tour. Whether he's being re-created in vinyl as a collectible doll or getting his ass knocked out for the cameras in Arizona, everybody loves to see Satan's little love muscle stalking and rocking the land of the living. With a career spanning almost 30 years, Danzig's bluesy BDSM anthems of debauchery appeal both to mothers and little whips. Lock up the women; he's a bad, bad hunk o' burnin' beefcake. The current band lineup includes Johnny Kelly and Kenny Hickey from Type O Negative, and Steve Zing who played in Samhain. Glenn's probably thinking about retiring soon, three decades of touring is a long-ass time; this might be your last chance to catch the act. On Sunday, to commemorate the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address and the Jonestown Massacre, Danzig plans to perform shirtless. THADDEUS CHRISTIAN

LAURA GIBSON, LOCH LOMOND, NICK JAINA

(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) See The Scene Report, pg. 35.

GREEN MILK FROM THE PLANET ORANGE, AKIMBO, SUBARACHNOID SPACE, MUSTAPHAMOND

(Rotture, 315 SE 3rd) You could call SubArachnoid Space's Melynda Jackson many things, but a quitter she ain't. For 10 years Melynda has been the guiding light behind the Bay Area's (if not the West Coast's) most stalwart space rock entity and her recent immigration to Portland hasn't slowed her down one bit, despite having to build a new band from the ground up. No guarantees on the specific celestial vein SubArachnoid's new incarnation will be tapping, but you can count on both synapses and joints to be firing up aplenty. Tokyo's Green Milk from the Planet Orange seem to have had supernatural rock 'n' roll powers bestowed on them by the gods, as they riff, sweat, and shred with a mastery few mortals possess. If this, the last blow out of their American tour, doesn't make you feel a wallop from the hand of the almighty, you'd better check your pulse. JOSH BLANCHARD

MONDAY 11/20

TALIB KWELI

(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) See Music, pg. 29.

TUESDAY 11/21

THE SLITS, DMONSTRATIONS, GET HUSTLE

(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) The fact that Ari Up and the Slits have stopped flashing their, ahem, slits onstage is the only real difference between their live show circa 1976 and what they'll be doing at Dante's. Despite being in her mid-40s, Up is still slightly unhinged and totally charismatic, swinging those famous dreadlocks in circles while wailing and rapping. Reuniting after an almost 20-year hiatus, the Slits also just released an interesting, if uneven, EP that focuses more on Up's recent adventures in reggae than their first wave Brit-punk roots. Despite the shakiness of their latest effort, the Slits' back catalog is a thing of rare beauty and astonishing range; very few bands can hop from Royal Albert Hall to dancehall so easily. While their set lists thus far have focused on newer material, the riot grrl foremothers have been throwing in tracks from their impressive history every night. CORTNEY HARDING

WEDNESDAY 11/22

HELLOGOODBYE, REGGIE AND THE FULL EFFECT, CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR, DAVID MELILLO

(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) Formed in 2001 as a high-school recording project for frontman/unashamed nerd Forrest Kline, Hellogoodbye took five years to release their debut album, the synth-driven power-pop confection Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs! But the band hasn't become Drive-Thru Records' biggest act because of record sales. They're the product of DIY smarts (they still handle all their merchandising and recording themselves) and viral marketing—a case study for how to succeed in an era where MySpace friend lists count for more than A&R buzz. And the hard work's paid off: Already veterans of the 2006 Vans Warped Tour and MTV U's Campus Invasion tour, HGB are enjoying a well-earned nationwide headlining tour this fall. AARON BURGESS

SEPULTURA, SWORN ENEMY, DIECAST, SUICIDE SILENCE

(Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th) Sepultura have covered a lot of ground since 1991, when the album Arise launched them to global rock stardom. Suffering criticism from American "old-schoolers" after the departure of founding frontman Max Cavalera in '97, Sepultura continued to kick ass in the rest of the world with vocalist Derrick Green, building a standing army of fans from Oslo to Sydney to Dubai, not to mention totally dominating the metal frequencies of South America. Presently, Sepultura are touring behind Dante XXI, their update to Dante Alighieri's 1300s chartbuster The Divine Comedy. The new material continues with the sonic form established over the last few records; sharply percussive songs capitalizing on the vicious rhythms of drum-ogre Igor Cavalera. Unfortunately, the drummer announced his departure from the band in June. His duties have been taken up by Jean Dolabella, formerly of Udora. Lineup changes aside, Sepultura endures, and recent set lists have included choice cuts to please fans from any era. TC