I do not seek your pity, although I expect your scorn, when I state that I am a fan of My Chemical Romance. Being a paid critic of music in his late 20s, it's a shameful thing to admit, but I've always been more than honest about my longtime affair with the dregs of emo, and My Chemical Romance is a guilty pleasure that I can be open about.

2004's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge was deservingly platinum, a major label debut that absolutely destroyed mainstream rock music that year. 2006's The Black Parade was more of the same, with the band fearlessly channeling the spirit of Freddie Mercury while singing alongside Liza Minnelli, of all people. From their stylistic videos to their punk-meets-goth-showtunes live show, My Chemical Romance has done an impeccable job of ditching Warped Tour emo in exchange for doling out hugs to screaming teenage fans on TRL. Also, unconfirmed rumor has it that iconic singer Gerard Way now buys his eyeliner here in Portland, his current home while he preps a comic book for local publisher Dark Horse.

While I have no problem with liking My Chemical Romance, I do have two problems staring at me from my desk. Thanks to the kind folks at the band's label, I now have two without-a-home tickets to the band's Tuesday, May 22 all-ages show at the Memorial Coliseum. Well, that is not entirely true. I want to go to the show, but it seems that none of my friends with their "good" musical taste want to see an arena show by a Jersey emo band in fancy outfits.

So I am having a contest for the unclaimed ticket. The winner will accompany me (and by the way, this is definitely not a date) to the concert and bask in the theatrical glow of one of our generation's finest mainstream bands.

Here are the contest details. To win the ticket, you must submit an artistic entry of what Gerard Way means to you. This can be in the form of drawing, painting, videotaped performance art, shoebox diorama, haiku, etc. You have a lot of mediums to work in, so do your fellow fans proud and make your entry a masterpiece of emo-related contest art. Myself, and renowned professional art critic Chas Bowie will conduct the judging.

Entries can be emailed to ezra@portlandmercury.com, and dropped off (or mailed to): Portland Mercury, attn: Ezra Ace Caraeff, 605 NE 21st, Ste. 200, Portland, OR 97232. All entries must be in by Monday, May 14 at 4 pm. The winning submission—if there is indeed one—will run in next week's column. No cheating, okay? I'm well studied on My Chem fan art/fic, so no signing your name to someone else's work. Good luck!