Whether or not it's the demise of music as we know it, or just really convenient and sort of neat, it's safe to say the iPod is not going anywhere. That being said, how the hell do you keep your overpriced music player safe at all times? At the Once More With Feeling consumer labs, our experts are here to help with this best-of list that will keep your tunes safe.

The i-Vag


Oh sweet mother of god! Finally my love of vaginas, iPods, and knitting has come together, resulting in the i-Vag. I'd be lying if I said there was anything sexy about awkwardly slipping one's fingers through a hand-knit set of vaginal lips, but hey, it's clever, and so very feminist. Be the hit of the DIY craft fair with a product that refers to the iPod's "Click Wheel" as the "Clit Wheel." If you don't buy this, you hate vaginas.

iWood (miniot.com)—$90

Made for the iPod Nano, this is the type of useless yet totally cool-looking product you'd see in Wallpaper. Carved with "the greatest precision" into a stylish wooden (take your pick Mr. Fancy Pants: maple, mahogany, pear, wengé, or walnut) case with smooth velvet lining, the iWood is the perfect companion to enjoying your iPod while sipping a glass of high-end cognac on a yacht in the south of France. Enjoy, you soulless yuppie.

Iconz (xtrememac.com)—$29.95

An idea so obvious, it's ridiculous it took so long to come out. The Iconz cases come in a variety of designs (sports logos, Tweety Bird, Superman) and are perfect when you want to listen to some tunes and show everyone how you'll shamelessly put a SpongeBob SquarePants logo or LeBron James' face on anything.

Domokun iPod Case (craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=76605.0)—free (but you have to make it yourself)

Do you have a subscription to ReadyMade and a love for cute Japanese monsters? Then the absolutelyfuckingadorable Domokun iPod Case can be yours. These are simple instructions on how to make your own, but be careful, the end result is so cute it might cause you to squeal like a small child. Is there such a thing as too cute? Yes, and this just might be it.

The Hoodie

This couldn't be more "Portland" if it came with a cup of Stumptown and was delivered to you by a member of the Thermals on a bike. It's ridiculous, and yeah, I kind of want one. There are a few iPod hoodie options, but instead of going with the C. Ronson hipster model, dig deep for the UK version (ipodhoodie.co.uk/) in classic gray, or just do it yourself with this pattern (maryburr.com). Oh come on, it's an iPod hoodie, not a wedding dress, you can make the damn thing yourself.