Never content with the endless amount of fame and money that comes with being a Hollywood celebrity, many a famous actor/actress have turned to rock music in an attempt to hoard more attention for their narcissistic souls. Here at OMWF, we try to separate the Dogstars from the 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, in our first (and hopefully last), celebrity band roundup.

Band Name: Dennis Quaid and the Sharks

Celebrity: Dennis Quaid, duh

The Details: Dennis Quaid's vanity project is so utterly useless, one is forced to question why anyone would buy a live (not studio) album from the star of such films as Jaws 3-D and The Day After Tomorrow. Also, $17 for a live album, and you only take PayPal? Wait, Dennis Quaid takes PayPal? Is he an eBay PowerSeller? What's his feedback?

The Verdict: Slightly better than the Steven Seagal Blues Band, but nowhere near as entertaining.

Band Name: 30 Seconds to Mars

Celebrity: Jared Leto

The Details: Jordan Catalano gets all grungy and nu-metal about a decade too late with a limp hard-rock band, complete with the predictable terrible band name. If you've ever asked what would the Deftones sound like if they hated music and had the guy from Panic Room as a lead singer, the answer would be 30 Seconds to Mars. But of course, you've never asked that question, and probably never will.

The Verdict: Truly the modern-day Dogstar, a worthless band who mistake people that are willing to pay $10 at a concert to stare at a real-life celebrity for actual fans of their music.

Band Name: Big Japan

Celebrity: Adam Brody

The Details: Seth from the The O.C. plays drums for this real-life O.C. band, which sounds like a band that both Adam and Seth would actually listen to, thus blurring the world of meta pop-culture reality and leaving everyone thoroughly confused. Do they practice in Ryan's pool house? When are they playing the Bait Shop? Should I really care?

The Verdict: Yeah sure it's like rich-kid Bright Eyes, but quality celebrity bands are hard to come by, so if you have to pick one to actually listen to—and not just make fun of—choose Big Japan.

Band Name: Wicked Wisdom

Celebrity: Jada Pinkett Smith

The Details: Bad metal from the wife of Will Smith, AKA the other woman in leather from The Matrix. Wicked Wisdom has awkwardly hopped-aboard the Ozzfest nu-metal crazy train a couple years too late for anyone to really bother caring. Jada tries to sound tough as nails, but the effort is lacking, and the end result is far less frightening than her husband's "Nightmare on My Street." At least in that song he rumbled with Freddy Krueger.

The Verdict: Well, someone has to open for Godsmack at a state fair, it might as well be Wicked Wisdom.