Ahem. Excuse me. At the risk of sounding... how shall I say this?... peeved, I should like to point out that your Sasquatch! Festival—yes, the one that has MY name on it—is overlooking one very important thing. Namely, MY band.

You've got over 70 bands playing, yet you forgot to book the 'Squatch Nu Age Odyssey Project. I mean, that's laughable. It's the "Sasquatch" Festival, for Pete's sake! Listen to the no-names you've got instead. The Cures? R.U.M.? Death Scab for Scooter? I mean, who's even heard of these bands? I sincerely doubt they have a fraction of the technical chops and instrumental prowess that me and the SNAOP boys possess. We were named Jazz Gazetteer's "Third Best Lite Jazz/New Age Trio or Quartet (Regional Division)" in 2001 AND 2003! They don't just hand that prize out to some no-talent hacks, you know.

Dear Mother Sasquatch did not spend hours slaving at her thankless DMV job to pay for my education at the Berklee College of Music just so some indie hipster snob could piss all over MY good name. So, let's get some REAL musicians on the bill, huh? Every year you guys overlook me. I doth protest! I doth!

The 'Squatch Nu Age Odyssey Project appears every third Wednesday at Solo's Piano Bar and Café. Two-drink minimum.