FREE MUSIC—Sundown, Ecotrust's excellent summer series of free concerts is back! Each night features a different band or two as well as an ecological theme (tonight is "water," with Onuinu and Adventure Galley). Look forward to shows up there each week with acts like the Portland Cello Project and Radiation City, too! MS
Ecotrust, 721 NW 9th, 5:30 pm, FREE, all ages

MUPPETS—We may have our differences, but we can all agree on The Muppet Movie, right? RIGHT?? Revisit your favorite talking pig and frog in their first film, originally released way back in 1979. (Bring your kids if you have any running around—poor things are stuck with options like Despicable Me 2.) MS
Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark, see Film Times


QUEER—You won't know what hit you: the Accidental Bear Queer Music Summer Tour is about to shimmy its way through Portland, offering queer music from filthy gay rapper Big Dipper, dapper pop craftsman Logan Lynn, and much more. Best of all, each show on the tour raises money for LGBTQ mental health services and suicide prevention—tonight's show benefits Q Center in Portland. NL
w/Conquistador, Rica Shay, Darling Gunsel; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 8 pm, $15

COMEDY—In a way, Greg Fitzsimmons is comedy the way it used to be, devoid of any elaborate conceit or overtly political shtick. Fitzsimmons is merely an average-looking, normal-talking funny dude who's probably been a regular on your television (for the 12 of you that still have television). And now he's in town! DVH
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $15-27


DANCE—DJ Cooky Parker's In the Cooky Jar is one of our favorite events in town, especially tonight, on the R&B/soul night's fourth anniversary—as always, the music will be fantastic, the dance floor packed, and the sweet bartender lady will pour crazy stiff drinks. Also sometimes you end up being an Eagle at the end of the night. EH
Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $5

COMEDY—Neil Hamburger, the undisputed king of one-liners and heckler-silencing, is what would happen if the Borscht Belt were still a thing, except if borscht were a dish made of phlegm chunks and scotch. Tim Heidecker, the more winsome half of anti-comedy duo Tim and Eric will join him. Also, this is the best thing ever. DCT
w/Jeff Breakfast; Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 9 pm, $18


STREET FAIR—Probably the most hopping of Portland's summer street fairs, the 12th annual Mississippi Street Fair is a jam-packed, bustling hubbub of fun. With a beer garden, five stages, 40-plus bands including Genders and 1939 Ensemble, and over 200 vendors, this is a gathering of grand and exciting proportions. CF
N Mississippi from Fremont to Skidmore, 10 am-9 pm, FREE, all ages

DANCE PARTY—Who'd a thunk a bunch of cellists could turn a Portland party out? But the cello wrestlers of the Portland Cello Project throw a mean night of butt bumpin'. Join them for two shows of their patented Extreme Dance Party, which has included sexy, sweaty covers of songs by MJ, Deee-Lite, and OutKast in years past. CF
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, Fri-Sat 9 pm, $15-17

FRENCH FEST—Denis Theriault is a French name. So everyone decided Denis Theriault should write the thing about the party for Bastille Day (technically tomorrow) that Pix throws every year. But dammit, I'd want to go even if I weren't part Pierre. Music! Saber lessons! Hula hoops! You may lose your head, because revolution was never this much fun. DCT
Pix Patisserie, 2225 E Burnside, 2-11 pm, FREE, all ages


HIPHOP—A Portland Dead Prez show is an interesting thing. On the one hand, the excellent rap duo is solidly anti-establishment, often taking out their lyrical ire on white people—the same folks who reliably populate their shows here. On the other hand, these same crowds scream every track word for word. We all have a right to despise the Man. DVH
w/Gray Matters, Packard Browne, Saint Warhead; Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez, 9:30 pm, $18-20, all ages

COMEDY—It's an amazing comedian who can take frowny topics like race, politics, and religion and turn them upside down. New York stand-up Hari Kondabolu has the magical ability to transform taboo bar conversations into a delightful, hysterical performance of comedy gold. He's smart, funny, and we hear he smells like cocoa butter! CF
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, 7:30 pm, $12-17


LE SPORTS—Bike races, like the Tour de France, are better viewed on TV than live, huddled along some road where you'll only catch a fleeting glimpse of the action. On TV, at least, you can keep watching the pack of cyclists smashing and grunting their way into history. And on TV at Velo Cult, where you can gossip and work a buzz, too? C'est parfait. DCT
Velo Cult, 1969 NE 42nd, nightly at 5 pm, FREE

FILM—It's been five years since we've had a new film from the brilliant Guillermo del Toro (The Devil's Backbone, Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy). Now, he's finally back—with Pacific Rim, a massive, post-apocalyptic blockbuster unlike anything he's done before. Buckle up. EH
Various Theaters, see Film Times


MUSIC—A trio of Portland's best upcoming bands makes this a Tuesday you'll remember in your autumn years. Fittingly, Old Age heads up a bill that also includes the We Shared Milk and Charts, all of which make complex, catchy pop and put on solid live shows. NL
Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9 pm, $5

SINGING—String your talents throughout Northeast Portland by joining up with the Karaoke2Karaoke Bike Ride. Participants will meet up at a karaoke spot and bike from there to a bevy of local bars serving up Japan's finest export. Bring money for tips and, for the love of god, brush up on your "Janie's Got a Gun." DVH
Trio Club, 909 E Burnside, 8:45 pm, FREE, 21+