Bridgetown Comedy Festival
The Bridgetown Comedy Fest starts today, bringing in a slew of out-of-town comedians who'll collide with Portland's own remarkable stand-up community in a whirl of jokes and laughter. It's your chance to see Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's Rachel Bloom, then run down the street and catch Nathan Brannon and Amy Miller sharing a bill with a punk band. Don't know where to jump in? Start with tonight's kick-off show. MEGAN BURBANK
Bridgetown Comedy Fest, Wed-Sun, check out our full schedule here, fest pass $119; kick-off show at Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 7 pm, $15


Holocene Turns 13
It's the 13th birthday of Holocene, Portland's premier Euro-chic warehouse nightclub/concert venue hybrid. Tonight they'll celebrate the occasion with a free Holocene Turns 13 birthday party featuring Atlanta rapper Rome Fortune as well as DJ sets from Daniela Karina and members of Shy Girls, and a live dance performance from House of Ada. CIARA DOLAN
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, FREE

Improvisation Summit of Portland 2016
That precise moment of creation is one of the most exciting things about music, and it's all too rare to witness. Now in its fifth year, the Improvisation Summit of Portland offers three days of adventurous artists capturing those raw, spontaneous instants. The fest, brought to you by the Creative Music Guild, kicks off tonight with Golden Retriever, Like a Villain's Holland Andrews with the Portland Jazz Composers Ensemble, and more. NED LANNAMANN
Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, Thurs 8 pm, Fri 7:50 pm, Sat noon, $12 a day ($30 for three-day pass), all ages


Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made
In 1982, three 11-year-olds in Mississippi decided to remake Raiders of the Lost Ark. And over the course of seven summers, they recruited friends and made props to painstakingly recreate each shot (and each life-defying stunt). Tonight, their amazingly enjoyable Raiders screens at the Hollywood—and so does the new documentary Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made, showing just how they did it. It'll be fun and heartwarming, and two of those former 11-year-olds will be in attendance. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 6:30 pm, $9

The Court of I, Anonymous
The Mercury's I, Anonymous column is famous for publishing anonymous rants and confessions from our readers. But the Bridgetown Comedy Festival's "The Court of I, Anonymous," takes it one step further! Host Bri Pruett will read the wildest, uncensored I, Anonymous submissions, which will then be judged by our hilarious jury, Greg Behrendt, Clare O'Kane, and Curtis Cook. Watch some of the funniest people alive judge the most awful people, all for your enjoyment! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Portland Mercury Stage at Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside, 6 pm, $10


Starlight Parade
Forget the underwhelming Grand Floral Parade—the best parade in Portland is the Starlight Parade, which features more than 100 illuminated floats, marching bands, and wonderment on a 2.25-mile route AT NIGHT. And this year's grand marshal is... the Portland Police Bureau? Errrr... kind of poor timing, but whatever! The parade is still great! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Kickoff at the North Park Blocks, 8:30 pm, FREE, all ages

Crafty Wonderland Spring Art + Craft Market
Crafty Wonderland has been a Portland institution since 2006. Let's keep showing the love to the huge homemade marketplace for our city's plethora of makers and doers. This time around, there'll be more than 225 vendors selling adorable, needful wares, plus adoptable kitties, a cat rapper, DIY canvas totes, and goodie bags for early birds. Fun! COURTNEY FERGUSON
Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE MLK, 11 am-6 pm, FREE, all ages


Islands, Honus Honus
Islands pulled a Human Touch/Lucky Town last month by releasing two brand-new albums: the electro-gloss of Taste, and the rawer, rockier Should I Remain Here at Sea? Taken together, they show the wide range of Islands bandleader Nick Thorburn's pop acumen, which will be on full display at tonight's show. NED LANNAMANN
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $12-14

Yo, Is This Racist?
Any city in the country could stand to check in on its racist tendencies (unconscious or otherwise), but lily-white Portland's probably near the top of the pile. So amid the comedy carnival that is Bridgetown Comedy Fest, stop in on Andrew Ti's thoughtful, interesting, and funny Yo, Is This Racist? live podcast taping, and have your pressing racism questions answered. DIRK VANDERHART
w/Rhea Butcher, Sam Jay, Curtis Cook; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 5 pm, $10


The Sadies, Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, Kris Orlowski, Michael Damron
Tonight's bill at the Star Theater will deliver a double whammy of legendary Canadian '90s surf from the Sadies and Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet. The Sadies fuse alt-country with twangy riffs, while Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet primarily play instrumental surf with a bass-heavy punk edge. CIARA DOLAN
Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 9 pm, $15

The Lobster
The weirdest ideas are the best ideas. Exhibit A: The Lobster, in which sad single people (like David, played by Colin Farrell) get turned into animals if they fail to find love (David's chosen to become a lobster if need be—but really, he'd rather find a wife). Count on Yorgos Lanthimos' surreal, acclaimed film to end up as one of the best of 2016—it's a darkly funny, razor-sharp satire that ends up being surprising and deeply moving. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, $6.50-9.50, see Movie Times for theaters and showtimes.


Mirah, Jherek Bischoff
Singer/songwriter Mirah moved away from Portland nearly seven years ago, so it's always noteworthy when she graces us with her heartbreaking and adventurous chamber-pop. Tonight she'll be accompanied by a string quartet, as well as orchestral pop composer Jherek Bischoff, who wrote and recorded the lush string arrangements on Mirah's 2014 album, Changing Light. CHIPP TERWILLIGER
The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th, 8 pm, $13-15, all ages

Lindy West
A deeply funny feminist writer, Lindy West is basically a rock star to many women you know, I guarantee it. I've been reading her work since she was the film editor at our sister paper The Stranger, before she became the best thing to happen to Jezebel. Do not miss her debut book, Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman! (She said, shrilly.) MEGAN BURBANK
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE, all ages