Because we love you more than life itself, every year the Mercury happily publishes YOUR VALENTINES to your loved ones FOR FREE (!!) in our annual Valentine's Day Issue.

Let's face it—the internet is good for a number of things... primarily free porn... but is TERRIBLE at expressing love. That's why writing a FREE (!!) valentine to your schmoopy-woopy and getting it published in an actual newspaper that your sweetie can actually hold in her/his/its sweaty hands is still the best way to show you care.

And OH, it's so easy to make your lover's dream a reality:

• Simply go to and click on the "Submit Your FREE Valentine" box.

• Type in your sweetheart's name or alias.

• Write an extremely romantic and nether-moistening love note of 150 words (or less).

• Hit "submit," and then get lots of rest. Because when your romantic interest sees her/his/its own love note from you in the Mercury Reader Valentines Issue on February 10? She/he/it is going to be keeping you up allllllll night. With smoochies!

SO DON'T DELAY! The deadline for print is Monday, February 8! Submit your FREE (!!) Mercury Reader Valentine today at

It's Not True Love... Until They Read It in the Paper!