Dear Republican Congressman (who's in the pocket of the NRA): How can you stand idly by as children, gay people, and now police officers are massacred by those with easy, legal access to firearms? Have you no shame?—Dave B., Boise, Idaho
Dear Dave: I hear your concerns, and just like you, I extend my thoughts and prayers to the families of these victims. Now we must join together in unity, and show those merciless attackers of American values that we will NOT bow to terror, and that their attempts to undermine the American way of life are futile. Thank you (as well as the NRA for the $755,816 donation to my campaign), and I hope I answered your question.
Dear Republican Congressman (who's in the pocket of the NRA): You put so much energy into obstructing the president's attempts to serve the American public, yet when it comes to gun control, you do nothing. What do you have to say to the families whose relatives were murdered because of your inaction?—Deborah H., Lincoln, Nebraska
Dear Deborah: First of all, I extend my thoughts and prayers to the families of these victims. Because it's vitally important in times like these to pray, share thoughts, share prayers, EXTEND prayers, and pray thoughts. But most of all, UNITY. Why? Because VALUES. Our VALUES do NOT bow to terror. Why? Because AMERICANS. They (the "them" I'm talking about) cannot stop us from sharing (and/or extending) THOUGHTS, PRAYERS, UNITY, VALUES, PRAYERS, AND UNITY. And the AMERICAN way of LIFE! As well as the extension of PRAYERS, the sharing of THOUGHTS, and the prayerful extending of SHARING THOUGHTFUL PRAYER THOUGHTS. Thank you (and the NRA for the $755,816 donation to my campaign), and I hope I answered your question.
Dear Republican Congressman (who's in the pocket of the NRA): Can you do anything other than speak in nonsensical platitudes?—Michael C., Flagstaff, Arizona
Dear Michael: Praying, sharing thoughts, EXTENDING prayers—and don't forget thoughts... as well as UNITY to the victims of families, and that family's victims—is critical to VALUES and AMERICAN VALUES. The extension of sharing and extending PRAYERS cannot stop, or extend, or BOW DOWN to terror, because. Also, AMERICANS! THOUGHTS and AMERICAN PRAYERS. Extending! UNITY. Sharing. Thoughts. Prayers and unity thoughts. Critical prayer thoughts unity values. And 9/11. And AMERICA! Thank you, thank the NRA ($755,816), and most of all, thank YOU. And I hope your extended PRAYERS, answered THOUGHTS, and sharing questions were shared with VALUES. UNITY. CRITICAL. PRAYERS. THOUGHTS. AMERICA!