Ryan Alexander-Tanner

Hulk MAD about election! But Hulk REALLY mad about puny Donald Trump! Have puny humans read Trump tweets? They super offensive! Here example of Trump tweet: “I win an election easily, a great ‘movement’ is verified, and crooked opponents try to belittle our victory with FAKE NEWS. A sorry state!”

Hulk not know about you, but Hulk know when Hulk made fun of! HULK CAN’T HELP HOW HULK WRITE! Puny Donald Trump tease Hulk by copying way Hulk write! Mean! Plagiarisms! Very unfair! SAD!

Related: Portland's Resistance & Solidarity Calendar

That why Hulk protest march this week! Hulk march called “Single Hulk March,” and it just Hulk. But Hulk encourage you to watch, cheer, like, and agree! Here am just a few interesting things Hulk am protesting against!

ANTI-IMMIGRATION! Hulk have lot good friends who immigrants: Scarlett Witch! Thor! Black Widow! Guardians of Galaxy! (Except Rocket Raccoon! Rocket Raccoon little asshole.) Black Panther! Gambit? Gambit have weird voice, so Gambit SORT OF immigrant. Anyway, Hulk think these immigrant deserve low-paying American jobs just like anyone else!

ENVIRONMENT! Lot of puny humans think Hulk not care about environment because Hulk SMASH environment. That unaccurate! Hulk smash HELICOPTER! Hulk smash CAR! Hulk smash modern technological apparatus that enslave working class! Hulk want nothing more than peaceful return to idyllic pre-industrial society.

TAX BREAK FOR RICH! While Hulk so broke him forced to move to studio apartment in Gresham, drunk Tony Stark get millions in tax breaks? HAVE WORLD GONE MAD? Drunk Tony Stark only spend it on booze and blood transfusion!!!

But mostly? Hulk protest POWER-MAD DESPOT TAKING CONTROL OF WORLD! Hulk have lot of problem with lot of super-villain, but this domineering, egotistical madman really take cake! Hulk mean it literally! He take cake from Hulk birthday party and ruin everything. Hulk speak, of course, of Magneto. Hulk hate Magneto! Magneto jerk—even bigger jerk than puny Trump! UNFAIR! NOT RIGHT! SAD!

(Hulk could also use snack while Hulk march. Please bring Hulk snack in solidarity.)