RYAN ALEXANDER-TANNER

Hulk have question... AM GOVERNMENT GONE CRAZY??

Look, Hulk understand puny Democrats and Republicans not like each other. Hulk understand there going to be bi-partisan bickering. (Hulk and drunk Tony Stark bi-partisan bicker all the time.) That good sign of democracy in action! But when puny Republicans use “nuclear option” against Democrats? That kind of overreacting, don’t puny human think?!?

Take it from somebody (Hulk) who very familiar with “nuclear option”—it do not end well! Hulk mean, LOOK AT HULK. Hulk not here today without “nuclear option”! Of course there am upside to being blasted with radiation. Hulk very strong and can jump to moon. Downside? Hulk’s clothing choices am somewhat limited. (XXXXXL purple pants not exactly easy to come by. Even at Walmart.) Also Hulk widely considered to be monster, so Hulk chased around country by General “Thunderbolt” Ross WHO ONCE AGAIN SHOOT NUCLEAR BOMBS AT HULK? C’mon, puny people! How do humans think Hulk got into situation in first place?!?

Look, Hulk get it. Democrats am very definition of puny. Every time puny Sen. Chuck Schumer open him stupid mouth, Hulk want to SMASH SMASH SMASH him into juicy pulp. But puny Republicans no better! Hulk hate puny House Speaker Paul Ryan so much, Hulk want to fling him to South America, jump over there before him arrive, and catch his ugly smug face on end of Hulk’s FIST. Puny Paul Ryan am literally THE WORST.

But Hulk never do these things. Why? Because no matter how many nuclear bombs puny government drop on Hulk, Hulk still American. Hulk still respect puny US constitution. So here Hulk message to puny Republicans: Do not drop nuclear bomb on puny Democrats. It not good for puny human’s health. (Again, see Hulk.) Remember: Big guys like Republicans and Hulk should be careful with little guys—because it not long before we’re little guys again.

(In Hulk’s case, turning back into puny Bruce Banner. UGHHH!!! HULK HATE HIM WORSE THAN PAUL RYAN!)