The Newcomers’ Guide to Portland 2016

The Official Guide for Those New to Portland, Who Don’t Know a Single Goddamn Thing.


Yo you forgot one MAJOR thing! (and welcome to all the newbies from a 5th generation Portlander)-- learn about how Portland became Portland! Learn about the history, from when Oregon was founded as a racist haven for white people, to the activists who stopped Division (that we all know and love) from becoming a major freeway, to the many tribes that are still very much alive and active, to the people who made sure that the beach would be free and open to everyone.

There are a lot of people who have worked (and are working now) to make Portland a great place to live, work, and raise a family if you are so inclined - many of those people are just like you and came from somewhere else, but they took time to learn about this place. Drive your BMW SUV every single day if you must, but please take the time to learn about the city that you presumably moved to because it's awesome. We've got our problems just like everyone else, but we're rad because people give a shit about what it means to live here.

P.S. But actually don't drive your BMW SUV everywhere. Please get rid of your BMW SUV.
I thought this article was pretty dumbassed. Not sure what else to say. Dumbassed.