By Marjorie Skinner, Julianne Shepherd, Manu Berelli, J.B. Rabin, Aaron Beam, Brian Brait Edited by Katie Shimer; Illustrations by Aaron Renier, Rick Altergott, and Brian Sendlebach

"Good manners are always in style," and this particularly holds true for the numerous parties you will be attending in the forthcoming holiday season. However! Will you be regarded as a stylish, elegant raconteur, or a boorish host who serves stale Doritos and spends much of the evening wallowing in his own effluvium? Read and heed the following "party advice" from the Mercury, or join the embarrassing ranks of the "effluviated."