Tuesday should be a pivotal day in Portland, Oregon and U.S. history. We'll have a new mayor, hopefully a new president, and may have finally beaten back the bigots behind Measure 36. Or... crap in our pants: Which translates to four more years of (an increasingly arrogant) Bush and a state whose civil rights are beginning to resemble the dark ages. Either way, you should be drunk! Come celebrate or mourn the transition to better/even worse times!

ELECTION RESULTS--HUGE screen TVs and DJ Gregarious help guide you through local, state, and presidential returns as the Mercury sponsors the "John Kerry Wins! John Kerry Wins!" election night party. Triangle Production presents songs from W: The Musical, The Radical Cheerleaders shake their pom poms, and Kick The Squirrel Improv keeps you in stitches! (Instant Canadian citizenship will be available in case of the worst.) Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 5 pm-late, free

FINGERS CROSSED--Shake out those election-day jitters with live music from Wet Confetti, Durango Park, Beef, and more. Former governor John Kitzhaber will be on hand for speechmaking and moral support. And, one-woman superstar Amber Martin performs her multi-personality standup and singing act. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, doors at 5, music at 7, sliding scale $3-10

DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION--This is your last chance to party with those loveable Rock the Voters. Celebrate or riot as DJs Nocturne and LeRoj kick out the jams. Willamette Week co-sponsors the "Heaven or Hell"-themed costume party. Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, doors at 6 pm, party starts at 9 pm

LOCAL CANDIDATE PARTIES:

Jim Francesconi's victory celebration. NW Labor Council building auditorium, 1125 SE Madison, 233-4987 for more info

Tom Potter's victory celebration. Melody Ballroom, 615 SE Alder, 6 pm, 233-7365 for more info

Sam Adams' victory celebration. Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE MLK, 7:30 pm, 236-2082 for more info

Nick Fish's victory celebration. TBA, 460-3474 for more info